Page 58 of Destroyed With You

I nod thoughtfully, thinking about what it must be like to grow up in a family of people who love you and respect your choices.

His hand moves to put the car back into gear, but I reach out, stopping him. “Hang on a second,” I say. “If your name isn’t Starr, then were we even married?”

“Yes,” he says firmly. “That was the first thing I looked into before I asked you, actually. I wanted to make sure it was real. Turns out a marriage under a fake name is absolutely legitimate, although I probably should have fined myself for lying on a marriage license application. Apparently that’s a misdemeanor.”

I burst out laughing. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t a felony, I would have hated to have to bail you out for that.”

He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I know you don’t think it was real. That our secrets somehow erase what we felt.”

I press my lips together and look down at my lap, saying nothing.

“But if you could have felt the pain that swallowed me after seeing that burned out shell of a car and believing you were dead…”

He trails off, his voice breaking. “Well,” he continues after a moment, “you’d know that not only did I really love you, but that it was as real a marriage as ever was.”

“And you still feel that way? Even knowing the truth?”

He meets my eyes. “That our marriage was real? Yes. That your death broke me into pieces? Absolutely. I loved you, Linda. Christ, I loved you so much.”

My mouth is dry and I swallow so that I can speak past the lump in my throat. “I’m not saying that our emotions weren’t real. All I’m saying is that nothing else was.”

“Well, maybe you’re right and maybe you’re not. I only know what I felt.”

Felt.

The word hangs there, past tense. Not feels. Not now.

It shouldn’t bother me—especially since I’m the one who’s said that everything we had in the past was built on shadows. But it does. It bothers me more than I want it to.

I sit up straighter, shaking off the emotion. “We should go,” I say. “Your parents will think we got lost.”

“They’re going to love seeing you again.”

“Well, about that, the feeling is completely mutual.”

* * *

“Linda!” Miriam Kellogg pulls me into her arms and hugs me tight. Just when I think my ribs are about to break, she pushes back, then looks me up and down. “You look fine. Does it hurt? Are you okay?”

“Mom,” Winston says from behind me. “She’s fine physically, unless you broke her with that hug. It was her memory that was broken.”

“And I have it back,” I say with extra cheer to hide the guilt of our lie. “I’m all better now.”

She makes a clucking noise. “I can’t believe it. Amnesia. I thought things like that only happened in the movies.”

“Everything that happens in the movies probably happened in real life somewhere,” a deeper voice says from behind me. I turn to find myself swept up in a giant bear hug from Dale, Winston’s father. Like his wife, he ends the hug by pushing me back, his hands on my shoulders as he looks me up and down. “My God, girl, you are a sight for sore eyes. We’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” I grin. “Or, I have since I remembered you.” I shoot a sideways glance at Winston, wondering if maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.

He takes my hand. “We’re glad to be here,” he says. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen either of you.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” Miriam says. “I’m so sorry that Richie and Nancy aren’t here. Nancy’s sister just had her third baby, so they went up to Tulsa.”

“Well, we’ll see them next time,” I say, adding a note of sadness into my voice. In reality, I adore both Richie and Nancy, but I think that navigating between Dale and Miriam for the few days we’ll be here is going to be challenge enough.”

“Come on with me, son,” Dale says. “Let the girls talk.”

I feel a wave of panic, but Winston shoots me a smile as he follows his father, and I cling to it like a life preserver.