Page 40 of Stand on That

Even after Darius called my name, I kept walking.

“Vani!”

After inhaling deeply through my nose, I turned around. I didn’t like the fact that seeing his daughter hurt me. I didn’t want him to know that, and I didn’t want Bree to know that. Keeping my expression neutral, I watched him as he walked in my direction.

“You not gon’ speak? Check on a nigga or nothing?” his irises darted back and forth across my face, and he looked truly hurt.

“Darius be for real. You’re with your baby mama. Why would I stop and check on you?”

“Because we’re supposed to be like that. You know how close I was to Wally. You never pegged me for being selfish Lavani but got damn.” Darius shook his head. “I’ve been drinking, and Bree didn’t want me to drive. That’s it and that’s all. But you, you don’t give a fuck. Yet, I keep choosing you.”

“You keep choosing me?” I asked perplexed. “How? When? When did you choose me, Darius? After I got out of prison because you bought me some shit?”

“You ungrateful as fuck,” he stepped toward me with flaring nostrils. “I’ve chosen you since day one. You were just too fucked up to see that shit. I’m sorry that my daughter is a sore spot for you, but that lil’ girl is mine. I love her. And that’s what it is.”

With a frown, I looked him up and down. “You’re supposed to love her, goofy. The fuck? I know you loved Wally. I came here to pay my respects. I’m not trying to beef with you or disregard your feelings. I’m simply trying to leave.”

“On my mama, I’ve been trying. I tried to make things right. I tried to apologize. I’ve done everything I know to do. You’re just determined not to fuck with a nigga, and I’m not going to keep begging. Do you, Lavani. I don’t give a fuck no more.”

“Thank you!” I yelled as he turned his back on me. “About fucking time.”

Darius continued to walk away, and I stood there fuming blinking away tears. The fuck was he mad at me for? I hadn’t seen her face, but I was willing to bet money that his daughter was adorable. She probably had the cutest smile and the chubbiest cheeks. The fact that he loved her more than life itself was a given. She was innocent, but I couldn’t help it that I felt some kind of way. Knowing that Bree was her mother, hurt. I didn’t know how to get around that.

I was supposed to be focused on money and getting myself together. I had cried enough in prison and if there was one thing I learned it was that crying didn’t change anything. In a perfect world, I’d be able to get past Darius’ daughter. Her existence wouldn’t bother me, and neither would Bree’s presence in Darius’ life. But the world was far from perfect, and I had to accept that.

“The disrespect is real, Darius. You left me standing there in a room filled with people that I don’t know while you chased after her,” Bree fussed as she drove.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I gritted my molars together and tried to keep my cool. First, Vani blew me, and Bree was doing the same. Both of them had pissed me off for the day. I couldn’t even grieve Wally in peace without extra drama from Bree and Vani.

“Say something! I’ve been by your side since you learned about Wally, and this is the thanks I get?”

“Why the fuck are you yelling knowing my daughter doesn’t like loud noise?” I asked through clenched teeth.

Bree couldn’t get to her house fast enough. I wanted to be away from her as badly as I wanted to be away from Vani.

“The way you run in behind her is comical. I’ve been holding you down the longest. I have your child and when it comes to her you still give me your ass to kiss.”

“You’ve been around longer than her, and I still chose her. That should tell you something. Fuck outta here with the bullshit. For years, I never chose you. Even when Vani was in prison, and you were carrying my seed. I still didn’t choose you. I have love for you, and I appreciate you for giving me my daughter, but stop acting like you haven’t known from day one what the fuck this was. At this point, I don’t want her ass either. Both of y’all get on my muhfuckin’ nerves.” I seethed. “Stop ignoring what a person tells you over and over again. Stop ignoring what the fuck they show you. Take off the rose-colored glasses, leave the land of delusion, and touch some muhfuckin’ grass.”

Bree chuckled angrily. “Say less. You’ll never have to tell me again that you don’t want me. I promise I heard you loud and clear.” She had an attitude, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t told her one lie. She kept waiting to win me by default or some shit, and it wasn’t happening.

When Bree arrived at her house, she jumped out of the car like her ass was on fire. The moment I opened the rear passenger door and laid eyes on Dymand, the anger instantly oozed off me. The only thing I could do was smile when her eyes lit up at the sight of me. I unbuckled her and lifted her from the car seat. As I carried her inside the house, I tried my best to let go of all the negative energy I was holding onto, so she wouldn’t feel that shit. She laid her head on my shoulder, and my chest exploded. At the moment, she was the only sense of calm and peace I had in my life, and I cherished it.

Bree wasn’t in the living room, so I sat down on the couch. I was going to spend another hour or so with my daughter. As she ran across the room to retrieve her toys from the basket tucked in a corner, the information that Wally’s wife gave me swirled around in my head. When he left the house, he was going to go meet Tyson. She knew who Tyson was because Wally only served a select few. She had heard Tyson’s name many times over the years. He was a functioning addict that was able to maintain a job. He worked at a shop detailing cars, and he often cleaned her and Wally’s cars for free in exchange for free heroin.

The thing about Wally’s death was that when the police found him, supposedly, there was no money or drugs on him or inside his vehicle. He was robbed and if I had to guess, I’d say Tyson was the person that robbed him. A man worked for more than half of his entire life and still had to hustle in order to live comfortably even after he retired. The fact that Wally did whatever it was that he needed to do in order to make sure he was straight, and a coward came and ended his life that was nuts.

I knew Wally. I knew that he would want me to leave the situation alone. Say it wasn’t worth it, but unless he was able to pull some strings from the afterlife and stop me, I was going to see Tyson. And I put that on my daughter. After giving her dinner and a bath, I put Dymand to bed and left. Bree would be alright. She always was. I needed another drink, so I headed to Azarius’ crib. When I walked in, the first thing I noticed was the small gash on his bottom lip. I shook my head because I already knew what it was.

“What Hailey done went to your ass about?”

Azarius chuckled. “She didn’t do shit. We were out last night, and she started fighting some bitch. I’m trying to break it up, and her nigga snuck me. I went to his ass, and Hailey dog walked shorty.”

I looked at him in awe before laughing. “Y’all really are The Joker and Harley Quinn. Fuck y’all fighting for?” I followed Azarius into his living room. He already knew what it was, so he grabbed a bottle of 1942 and two shot glasses off his minibar.

“Mannnn,” he drawled. “We were at that seafood spot that gets ghetto after ten pm with the DJ and all that. Boom, Hailey went to the bathroom, and I went outside to take a call because it was loud in the restaurant. Some shorty that was there with her man came outside and was flirting with me. She was drunk as hell, and I was ignoring her. Hailey came outside and caught her ass. I’m trying to break them up, and her duck ass nigga comes out there trying to defend her honor I guess not knowing that Hailey went to her ass for flirting with me.”

All I could do was laugh as he handed me the shot glass filled with tequila. Azarius knew he met his match when he met Hailey. That was the reason he ran from her for so long. “Vani was at the wake,” I announced before throwing the shot back. “She saw Bree holding Dymand and left. We kind of got into it.” I ignored the burn in my throat and chest while visions of Vani’s face clouded my mental.