Page 34 of Risking it All

“Can I ask you to do something?” he asked, covering one of my hands with his as it rested on my lap.

“What is it?”

“If you start feeling hopeless again, will you talk to someone? It doesn’t have to be me. There’s a hotline. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it before, but it’s 988. Can you promise me that you’ll do that before you make any permanent decisions?”

“I will.” I nodded.

“Do I need to write the number down for you? It’s simple enough, but in the fog of depression, our memory tends to get short. Trust me. I know.”

“I can remember it, and I promise I will try calling first if it comes down to that again.”

“Thank you,” he said, pulling my hand to his lips and kissing the back of it.

Grabbing the collar of his shirt, I pulled him in for a kiss. Forget all that first date stuff. We’d already had sex. There was no use in the formalities now. A sexy grin covered his lips as I pulled back out of the kiss.

“Look at my sweet thing being all naughty.”

I rolled my eyes playfully, blushing at his statement. “Does being on a first date mean we can’t have sex?” I asked, looking away shyly. Being with him felt so good that I couldn’t wait for round two. Well, it would be round three, technically, but whatever. I wanted more.

“Yes, it does. I’m a gentleman.”

“Aww, man.”

“Besides, you’ve been through a rough time. I don’t want you to end up wondering if you only wanted me that night because I happened to be there at the right time. I’m already struggling with that part as it is.”

“Well, maybe it was the only reason I was so bold about it, but trust me, I would have wanted your big, sexy self either way.”

He actually blushed, making me smile even harder. “I want to get to know you, Z. I don’t want you to think you’re just another conquest for me.”

“I don’t think that. I can tell by the way you make me feel.”

“And how do I make you feel?” he asked.

“Wanted. Safe.”

Instead of responding verbally, he just nodded. Picking up one of the miniature cheesecakes, he popped the whole thing in his mouth before washing it down with the rest of my wine.

“Good.”

I was so stuffed that I couldn’t make myself eat more than a couple of the macarons. It didn’t matter. It was still the best meal I’d had in a long time. Sawyer helped me up and walked me back to my room in silence.

“Alright, mama. This is your stop,” he said, scanning a card that made the lock click.

I opened the door, then turned to face him. “Did you want to come in?” I asked, holding my breath and hoping for the right answer.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to take care of some business.”

“Or are you just afraid that I’ll try to seduce you?”

“Afraid, no. Concerned, a little. I need to know your state of mind is good before we go back into that dynamic. You gave something that I can’t give back, and I’m not even sure I deserved it, mama. Let us both process that before we go any further.”

“I thought you said you were my new man, or was I hearing things?”

He took a step closer, making me back up into the room. He towered over me as he held onto my chin and brushed his lips against mine. His tongue invaded my mouth as he gripped my ass in one hand, pulling my body against his hard frame. Heat pooled at the base of my stomach as I silently hoped this meant he’d changed his mind.

“Good night, gorgeous,” he said right before placing another gentle kiss on my lips. Without waiting for my response, he headed back down the hall toward the elevators. “Don’t make me show you what I’ll do if one of these niggas gets the impression that you’re not mine,” he said before stepping onto the elevator.

There went my panties.