Page 31 of Crusher

“He’ll wake up,” I whisper as she stares at our son, “He won’t leave you…”

“You don’t know that,” she says quietly as she gently moves our son's hair off his forehead.

“I do, because I know what it’s like to live without you, and it is fucking hard,” I admit, and she chastises, “Language, Hayes, he may be asleep, but he could still hear you!” and I smirk.

“Mama bear at her finest, huh?” I goad, and she winces as she side eyes me, and I raise a brow at the look and ask, “What did you do?” instantly recognizing it.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she quickly says, and I grin wide because fuck, this has to be good.

“Freckles, you gave me that same look when you accidentally washed all of my white clothes with a red sock that neither of us even owned, making them pink after I forgot about our first anniversary, out with it,” I state, and she scrunches her nose up.

“Crap, I forgot about that,” she mutters before she relents, “Fine, after he said ‘Dada’ for the first time, he also said shit.”

My lips twitch, and laughter wants to escape, which of course she notices, and she points at me and snaps, “It isn’t funny! He said ‘Dada’, and I literally said shit my phone because I wanted to record it, and he copied!”

My laughter comes out, and she groans, throwing her head back. I can’t help the love that overcomes me, the feeling of old times rushing through me before sadness takes over when she looks at Kayden with heartbreak.

“I’ve missed you, Alexiana,” I rasp, and she flinches and opens her mouth, most likely to change the subject, but I quickly say, “The photo of the baby you were sent, the one I was holding, her actual name is Willow White, who is now nearly seven,” and she looks at me sharply, her mouth parting with shock.

“Miles had a baby?” she gasps, happiness beginning to come through, and I nod and admit, “Two babies, actually. Clark’s pregnant again, and Cage has had two. His daughter Angela, named after little Angie, is nearly one, and Drew has not long given birth to CJ.”

Her eyes tear up. “Oh wow,” she whispers with awe, and I soften as she chokes, “I’ve missed so much…”

I nod and admit, “You have, but honestly, even though it kills me, it’s understandable. Now I know what your mom did with your first boyfriend,” she cuts me off and says, “Fling,” making me chuckle and change, “Alright fling,” despite the jealousy that runs through me, “I know it messed with your head, I know you’ve been closed off, and I know I broke you in probably one of the worst ways,” I sigh, “Learning what Dad did, it was hard, and I shouldn’t have done what I did and I most fucking definitely –”

“Language,” she cuts me off again.

I continue, “I most definitely shouldn’t have chosen the club over you when my dad literally shoved me to the side. Freckles, what I can’t change is the past, just like I can’t turn back time and stop Roxy from sending you crap ,” my wife looks my way, her eyes so closed off it’s making me want to vomit, “Yes, I slept with her, once,” she looks away but I don’t stop, “I was drunk again, not that it’s an excuse, and I regretted it instantly but I haven’t touched her or any other woman since. She’s thrown herself at me, heck, she tried to have me arrested for assault because I shoved her away, causing her to twist her ankle after she threw herself at me. It’s only been you for eight years, baby, it's only been you since we met. I just lost myself for a moment, a moment I can’t take back, but I do want my wife back.”

She shakes her head, and my stomach drops when she whispers, “You made your choice eight years ago, Hayes, and now you need to live with it because there is no going back. My trust has been broken, we both need to move on.”

She looks at our son then to me before she says, “A divorce is the right way to go, and honestly we shouldn’t have gotten married so young anyway. It doesn’t matter if your dad upset you, it doesn’t matter if you had found out you had several other siblings. You took comfort from someone who wasn’t your wife. You proved you weren’t emotionally mature enough to have a girl that serious because if you were, you wouldn’t have strayed. You wouldn’t have jumped into bed with the same girl a few days after your wife leaves heartbroken. You would have called several times, you would have handed in that cut until she was ready to forgive you and trust you again,” she bites her bottom lip and my breathing intensifies as she says, “Weekends, you can come and stay in Rose Hill and spend time with Kayden but you and me, we’re over, we were when you went to her.”

Son of a…

“I’ll hand in my cut,” I state, meaning it, just as the door to Kayden's room opens and Cage snaps, “No, you fucking are not!” just as my dad growls, “Like hell!”

“Bellamy, language!” Alexiana snaps, and despite my panic, my lips twitch as he murmurs, “Sorry, Alex…”

Only my wife can make an MC president who she’s known for years apologize instead of snapping at her for using his legal name.

I open my mouth to try and plead, but her shocked gasp echoes, and I stand as the monitors beep louder, while Alexiana bends over our son and chokes, “Kayden, can you hear me?”

I rush forward with Cage and my dad and choke back a sob as my son, a little boy I have yet to meet, blinks his eyes, before they lock on his mom’s, and she sobs as he croaks, “M-mama?”

“I’ll get Trick,” Cage rasps, and I nod as I watch my wife lean over our son, who grips her neck, and she sobs, and my tears fall as his eyes come to my way, eyes exactly like mine.

“Daddy?” he gasps in shock before his tears fall, and my dad grips my shoulder to stop my knees from buckling.

He knows who I am. Fuck, my girl, my amazing fucking wife still ensured he knew about me.

I step forward and lean over, pressing my lips to his head while my hand goes to his mama’s shaking back. He grips my cut with his hand that isn’t gripping his mom. and instantly I feel at home.

He’s awake.

I kiss his head again as my tears fall and I make a silent vow, a promise that I’ll never break. I will get my family back, I will have more babies with this woman, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to her how much she means to me.

I promise to never lose them again, even to her own fears.