Page 37 of A Matter of Time

“Come on.” He patted my chest gently. “Let’s go.”

Without his body heat I was freezing in the street. I watched him walk around the SUV and get in. I was frozen to my spot, not wanting to go anywhere else with him, knowing that my attraction was mine alone. I was his witness, nothing more.

He lowered the window as he leaned across the passenger seat. “Get in the car, stupid, before you freeze your ass off.”

Nice.

I trudged over to the car and climbed into the seat.

“What the hell were you waiting for?”

“A written invitation, obviously,” I said sarcastically.

“God, you’re an idiot,” he grumbled before he pulled the car into the street.

He had no idea.

FIVE

The following night I decided to take my friend Tony up on his drinking and dancing offer. Nothing else was working. I still felt like I was in a dream, like I was outside my body, watching. It made sense that, maybe, if I went to bed with someone, I would have to actually be engaged, and if I were, maybe I would be me again. It was a theory that I tried to explain to Tony. He had no idea what I was talking about, but he was a good sport about listening, and that in and of itself was amazing, since his attention span was practically nonexistent. He even mostly maintained eye contact.

It became immediately evident that dancing was not a good idea. I didn’t want to be groped or mauled or grabbed. I wasn’t in the mood to be slammed up against a wall in the bathroom. Drinking, on the other hand, had real possibilities. So while my friends danced like spawning fish, I sat at the bar and drank. I watched them gyrating and twisting, bumping and grinding, and whenever they called out to me, I waved and smiled. Whenever a guy sent me a drink, I sent it back. Every time I was leaned into, I shoved whoever it was off me. I elbowed one guy in the ribs because he wouldn’t take no for an answer. But after a few hours of drinking, the alcohol finally did the trick and unwound me. Feeling good at last, I slipped through the crowd to join my friends on the dance floor. I saw that more people I knew had joined them, including my friend Ben. I could always count on him to be funny and upbeat.

As usual, as soon as Ben saw me, he was across the floor really fast. His hands were all over me as he grabbed me and hugged me tight.

“Jory…I missed you.”

I smiled at him as he stepped back and looked at me.

“Let’s get this off,” he said, stripping me out of my T-shirt, pulling it up over my head.

I grabbed it back from him, tucking one end into my pocket before I stepped in close and pressed my groin to his. I was just fooling around, but it was fun, and in minutes his hands were tight on my hips and his face was buried in my shoulder.

“You’re such a cocktease, Jory,” he groaned, licking a line up my throat as he squeezed my ass through my jeans.

“I know.” I laughed, rubbing against him to the catcalls and whistles of our friends.

“Oh fuck this,” he half yelled, suddenly grabbing my hair and yanking me off the dance floor, dragging me back to the bar. Once there, he whirled me around to face him. “Go home, Jory, before I make a big mistake and ruin our⁠—”

I put a hand around the back of his neck, pulled him close, and kissed him. It wasn’t my best, there was really not a lot of effort put into it, but it accomplished my goal. His mouth opened and he shoved his tongue down my throat. One of his hands was on my neck, the other on the button fly of my jeans. His fingers were working fast to open them enough to get his hand inside.

His hot breath was on my face as he broke the kiss to breathe. “Come home with me.”

“Let’s just go in the back.”

He jerked away from me, his eyes on mine. “What are you talking about?”

I smiled slowly. “You’ve never fucked in the back room?”

“Yeah, I’ve fucked in the back room,” he snapped at me. “But I don’t wanna do that with you. I wanna take you home with me.”

I shook my head and put a hand on his belt buckle. “Come on, you know you want it.”

He shoved me back away from him. “I do want it, that’s the problem. I want you, Jory, I always have. All of you.”

I stared at him, understanding finally sinking into my alcohol-soaked brain. “So you want what?”

“I want you to come home with me.”