Page 98 of Demon and the Raven

“Well, of course, but how does that help us? The demon can’t cross onto Corvus.”

“It can if it’s invited.”

“Meaning?”

“You have to convince Corvus to open the wards and allow the demon entry.”

“Why would I do that?”

“So we can kill it,” he said, squinting at me. “Were you not listening?”

“I was, but⁠—”

“You need to stop carrying around Nott and Kathy. Neither of those deaths are on you.”

How did he know?

“I’ve actually killed people in the line of duty, Xan. I know what it is to carry around guilt.”

“It’s different. You did it to save a life, I’m certain of it. But for me, I got Kathy killed. That’s on me,” I said, feeling the weight of the guilt settle over me. “I should have⁠—”

“You should have what?” he asked harshly, his voice sharp, taking hold of my hands, not letting me cover my face. “Tell me.”

I tried to pull free, but he wasn’t letting go.

“Stop,” he ordered as I stared down at the grass between my folded legs. “Look at me.”

But how could I?

“Xan.” His voice was low and gravelly.

I lifted my eyes.

“If questioned,” Lorne began, “Kathy would have said she was a witch. You’ve told me again and again that if people say what they are, magically speaking, then they are. It was like Elen said—if questioned and the answer was yes, the demon took her at her word.”

I tipped my head up then, still holding his gaze.

“People always say, Oh, if I hadn’t done this, or, Oh, if I had only been home…but guess what? The only person responsible for ending a life is the one who did it. Nott would have died either way, yes?”

I nodded because that was the truth. Thero had alluded to it herself. As soon as Nott was taken, the outcome was already set.

“Whether she told the demon everything or nothing, she was dead.”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Sorry?”

“Yes,” I said, louder that time.

He gave my hands a gentle squeeze, then let go. “So both of them, Kathy and Nott, are not your fault. And then you saved Lynette.”

“We saved Lynette.”

“It was you, but that’s fine. The point is, she’s okay, the kids at home are okay. You need to start celebrating your wins.”

I searched his eyes, his face, and found only resoluteness there. “And now? Please explain what you want me to do with the wards.”

“I will, but get up so we can get back to the cottage. I don’t like leaving the kids in there alone with our cat. What if he gets peckish?” He stood up.