Page 4 of Ice Around the Edges

“Sure. Why don’t you come with me?”

My eyes drifted open. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Evan, you are in desperate need of me.”

“Oh? How you figure that?”

“Look around.”

I didn’t say anything.

He put a hand on the side of my neck, and his thumb slid over my jaw, under my chin and down, stroking my skin. His hand on my neck was warm, and I was getting sleepy.

“You were always a sucker for me petting you.”

I grunted because my energy was gone. My eyes would not stay open.

“I have something to say, all right?”

“G’head,” I said, and my voice was deep and raspy.

“Okay,” he said, his thumb sliding up and down my throat. “Now, I don’t want you to get up on your high horse and be offended. I just want you to listen.”

“Sure.”

“All right. So we both know that any guy who isn’t me isn’t going to last.”

“Oh?” I smiled, opening my eyes to look up at him. “How come?”

“Because no one but me is strong enough to take your bullshit on a day-to-day basis.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, it is,” he said firmly, standing up, walking several feet from the bed, and turning back around to look at me. “You are so much work.”

And it clicked then how he had no idea who I was anymore. “I used to be work; I’ll give you that. The way we fought and made up and the stuff that got broken when we went at it… whole lotta drama back then,” I agreed. “But I’m not that guy anymore, Dix. I’ve learned stuff from everybody I’ve been with. When I was with you I had no clue who I was. I’m different now.”

“I’m sure you’re different in some ways, but not in the way that matters.”

“Like?”

“Like you need someone to remind you to eat and take your vitamins and go to bed. You used to forget to sleep for days at a time until I came home and held you down and fucked you so hard and so long that your body gave up and you passed out.”

Jesus.

I remembered when he used to walk in the door after working back-to-back shifts at the restaurant for a few days and I was still awake. If he wasn’t home to lie down with, I forgot to go to bed, and then I was so wired I could barely even breathe. I would listen for him, for his return, with my whole body. I was tense, overwrought and vengeful, picking a fight with him the minute he walked in the door. He would shake his head like I was ridiculous before he’d throw me down, manhandle me like I wanted—needed—and bend me over the bed and take me hard. I would crack and crumble and collapse under him. His arms tight around me, holding me close… I had never slept better, so safe, so loved.

Crap.

“You put everyone else before yourself; you always have. It’s a great quality, and it’s scary as hell at the same time.”

I smiled and let out a sigh. “I’m a big boy now, Dix. Nobody has to take care of me anymore.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s at home to take care of you now?”

I had no answer for him.

“Are your folks coming in from Dallas?”