Page 77 of Tied Over

“And I fooled myself into thinking I could be happy screwing all those guys when the only person I wanted to be in bed with was you.”

I wasn’t stupid. I’d known that.

“And then I went along with everything with Hayden because I felt like it was time,” he confessed. “Time to get married and settle down, time to think about a family. It all seemed so right, like I was a grown-up, but then the second you got hurt, I’m blowing my life off to make sure I’m there for you because… Jed…” He looked away, tried to pull his hand free, to move, but I wouldn’t let him.

“You only wanna be with me,” I stated with a smile. “It’s me, Bode.”

His head turned too fast, like it was on a swivel, his eyes riveted on my face because Bode, the nickname only I ever used, had been gone for years and was now, suddenly, in an instant, back.

“I want it to be me,” I said, staring into all that deep-sea blue. “Make it me. Break the really nice guy’s heart and make it me.”

He leaned forward but stopped, and I felt his warm breath on my face. “I want to. I want you and—Jed.”

I smiled at him. “I know. I want you back. It’s been a long time for me.”

“No, you— It’s not that I want to fuck you—”

“You don’t?” I teased him.

“Oh God,” he groaned, and I let his hand go so he could do what he wanted and cover his face with both. “You’re really looking at me, finally, and your mouth is right there and—”

“Do you like to top? I’ve never asked.”

“Fuck yes, Jed, I like to top,” he ground out like he was in pain. “I have dreamed of having you under—oh my God.”

I reached out and curled a long strand of hair around his ear. “Me too.”

He actually whined as he dropped his hands and looked at me.

“But I know what you mean. It’s not just the sex. It’s that final piece. It’s the last part that connects us. Can’t ever go back after that.”

“No,” he was adamant. “You can’t ever take it back. From the first kiss, Jed,” he said, swallowing hard, “you can’t ever send me away or change your mind because you think something stupid. I won’t ever leave you. Do you understand?”

He looked so scared, so tense, so ready to either jump me or hit me, and I understood because it was nearly six years of longing, of us circling one another, simmering the whole time, and his control had been stretched to the limit and was now gone, utterly and completely fractured. But since at the moment he still belonged to Hayden, there was only one thing to do. Only one way to return us to normalcy.

“What if a billionaire wants to marry you?”

It took him a second. “Have you lost your—”

“Or what if you meet that football player you like?”

“I don’t think he’s gay,” he replied, grinning, scooting closer, at my hip now, reaching out and slipping his hand around the side of my neck, his thumb tracing along my jawline.

“What about that guy who plays for the Blackhawks, the one you said always smiles at you whenever you go to the games?”

He shook his head. “You’re so stupid.”

“This is not news.”

“We’re going to have to fly coach home.”

“That’s okay,” I told him. “You can hold my hand.”

“Have I ever told you that hazel is my favorite color?”

My eyes just so happened to be that color. “No, you haven’t.”

“I will build my whole world around you, Josiah Redeker. I’ve been waiting for so long.”