Page 81 of He Hate Me

“You know I wondered that as well. I met your husband over ten years ago when I worked at a strip club my uncle owned.”

“Devin doesn’t go to strip clubs.”

“Oh, he definitely does, and back then…”

“I can confirm he used to come home all the time smelling of perfume with glitter on his suit,” I tell her.

Tanisha still looks as if she doesn’t believe us, but I remember the day when it all clicked, and I figured it out. I was eleven.

“He hired me to do a job and he paid me well. It was my first time doing something like that and I was a bit sloppy. Your husband helped me clean up, but in the process ended up in possession of something that could put me in prison for a long time.

“For years I didn’t think about it. I assumed he’d disposed of it. Then he contacted me about a year ago demanding money. Like you, I didn’t understand why he needed the money. What I eventually learned is that your husband was one of the investors in Liberty Legacy.”

“The Ponzi scheme?”

“Yes. He lost half a million dollars of borrowed money, which he’s been paying back by stealing from your mutual employer. Plus, I assume a little extra spending money here and there.”

“How could you know this when I don’t? I’m the controller of the company.”

“My organization employs some very skilled hackers.” Anton smiles, though the effect of it is like a shark baring its hundreds of teeth.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Tanisha says with an exhausted sigh. She rubs the top of her head, mussing her carefully styled straight hair. A single lock sticks up like a wood staple from her crown.

“Are you aware of any safety deposit boxes owned by your husband?”

“Yes,” she says. “He has two, I think.”

“Based on our investigation he has four. Do any of these look familiar?”

He hands her a piece of paper, and she nods. “I recognize three of these as banks where we have accounts. The fourth, I’m not familiar with.”

“Your name is on all four boxes. We’d like you to go to this fourth bank and retrieve the contents of the safety deposit box.”

“And if I don’t?” she asks.

“Of course you don’t have to,” Anton says. “We’ll drop you off at home this evening and you can climb in bed with the man who drugged and raped your child. Also, you might want to know that the job Devin had me do was the murder of your first husband.”

“I need to talk to you,” Anton says after Tanisha leaves with two of his men. I’m tired and sick to my stomach. It’s not his fault, but after watching the video of Deja’s abuse, just being in this house makes my skin crawl. I need to get out of there. But I follow him into his home office. He offers me a chair and closes the door.

“I watched the tape labeled L&D and I want to give you a choice before I tell you what’s on it.”

“L&D is Lindsey and Deja, isn’t it?”

“Does my mom…?” I can’t bring myself to say the words poisoning my brain.

“Nothing like that,” Anton says, “but it’s very upsetting and knowing won’t really change what we do. I’ll still make sure Devin pays for what he’s done.”

“If you’re even asking me this, it has to be bad.” Is there any virtue in not knowing? I’ve decided not to tell Deja what Devin did to her. Sure, she has a right to know, but it won’t help anything. I put myself in her shoes and the horror I’d feel if I knew that I had been raped without my knowledge is significant. As far as she knows it never happened, and so she’s avoided the trauma for the most part. I’d be doing her a disservice if I told her about it.

Could this be similar? Something that it’s better for me not to know? But it’s not someone else deciding what’s best for me. I already know this information exists, and I don’t know if I could live with not knowing. It concerns the two people who are most important to me in the world. I have to know.

“Tell me.”

Anton seems disappointed, but he doesn’t drag it out or make excuses.

“The video has your mom on it with the usual happening. David’s there as well, but he gets a call and leaves. Maybe ten minutes later Deja comes down the stairs. Devin tells your mother to sit in a chair and he gives Deja a drink. You understand what that means, right?”

“I do. So this is what happened the first time.”