Page 45 of He Hate Me

“That didn’t mean he helped us out. If I’d wanted his help I’d have had to stay here without my mom. Fat chance.”

I feel like there’s subtext here that I’m missing, especially since Brandon is now doing exactly what he said he wasn’t going to do—living under Devin’s roof without his mom. Big difference between eight and eighteen, but still, you’d think he wouldn’t be so pissed off.

“What are you going to do with the album?” I ask, changing the subject back.

“I figure I can get some pictures of her and her friends and put them in frames as gifts.

“I think she’ll like that.”

“Cool.” He bites his lip.

That’s all the warning I get before he’s on top of me again. When I struggle, he grabs my wrists, holding them above my head in a tight grip. His face is inches from mine.

“Brandon, you’re hurting me,” I say, trying to pull away. But he’s too strong, too determined. He leans in, his face inches from mine, his breath hot and heavy.

“But you like it when I hurt you, don’t you?” he says, and I have to look away, because he’s right. I can feel the hard line of his body pressed against mine, his weight pressing me down into the bed, and it’s delicious. He leans closer, his lips brushing against my ear. “You know what turns me on, Deja? The way you gasp when I hurt you. The way you can’t hide liking it.”

My heart races as he trails kisses down my neck. I try to push him away, but it only makes him press harder against me. He’s enjoying this, I realize with a weird feeling in my stomach, and so am I.

I feel his hand slip under my pajama top, his fingers pinching my nipple. My back arches, seeking more of his touch.

“Brandon, stop,” I say, my voice weak. “What if somebody catches us?”

As if I never spoke, his lips crash down on mine, sending shivers down my spine. He kisses me deeply, his hands tangling in my braids as he moves against me. His lips move against mine with a passion that shuts off my brain. My resistance melts away as Brandon deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth like it was made for him. My thoughts are all jumbled together, my heart thundering in my ears.

Suddenly, we are interrupted by a voice coming from the doorway. “Well, well, well…what do we have here?”

We both freeze as Jayden steps into the room. His gaze roams over our intertwined bodies before he smirks.

“I didn’t know you two were so close!” he says, sardonically.

I push on Brandon’s shoulders and this time he lets me up, pushing his hands through his hair.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I blurt, my voice high-pitched and shaky. Jayden’s right eyebrow goes up as if to say, “Bullshit.”

“I can see nothing’s happening here,” Jayden says, dryly. “Just like you weren’t grinding on me last night.”

I’m flushed with embarrassment. I dirty danced with Jayden last night, but it didn’t mean anything. Bringing it up feels like shit stirring. It certainly didn’t turn me on. Not like what Brandon and I were just doing.

“I wouldn’t talk to Deja like that,” Brandon says, his tone dark. He’s staring at Jayden with an expression that’s the polar opposite of Jayden’s breezy smirk.

“Calm down, bruh,” Jayden replies, “She wasn’t even into it and now I get why.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, getting off the bed. Brandon stands up too, on the other side. We exchange wary looks. Brandon looks like he’s ready to leap across the room and deck my ex-boyfriend.

I can see the anger rolling off Brandon while Jayden stands there coolly, like he isn’t afraid of anything. I have no idea how a fight between these two would go down, but both of them are big, buff dudes. Jayden probably has an advantage as far as upper body strength, but Brandon is a rage monster.

“Calm down,” Jayden says, chuckling. “I just came to get you for lunch. Your mom picked up soup and sandwiches.”

Shit! Imagine if my mom or Devin had come to get us for lunch? I didn’t realize it was so late; I thought Devin and my mom were still at church. I shudder at the thought of either of them walking in on me and Brandon kissing, and take a deep breath to steady my nerves. I can only imagine the look of shock and disappointment on my mom’s face. I glance at Brandon, who is still standing awkwardly on the other side of the bed.

“Why don’t you guys go ahead,” I say. “I need to change.” Brandon leaves the room with a tight nod in my direction. Jayden winks at me and closes the door on his way out.

Seventeen

Deja

I’m climbing in bed that night when I hit my toe against the messenger bag Brandon had earlier.