Page 75 of Unwritten Rules

Ken doll. Ken doll. Ken doll.

“Let’s just go. And never mention this again. Ever!”

They’re still chortling as we cross the driveway and enter through enormous wide doors held open by two masked doormen who nod politely as we step over the threshold.

The sight that greets my eyes is overwhelming to each and every sense.

People are milling about, each bedecked in finery as though they’re attending a lavish ball. A red, black, and gold theme runs throughout the lowly lit rooms, filled almost to bursting with men and women of all ages, shapes and sizes.

There’s a slightly familiar, pungent smell in the air, and it takes several attempts before I realise it’s the smell of sex and sweat intermingling.

A cacophony of voices alongside glasses clinking and laughter tinkling hits my ears, forcing me to stop dead in my tracks, unsure about continuing down this particular rabbit hole.

“Why exactly are we here, girls?”

Jo winks at me, looping her hand through the crook of my arm and steering me left past a wide staircase, leading both Nola and me down a long corridor beyond.

The walls are elongated by wallpaper in black and gold thick vertical stripes, giving it the illusion of being taller than it actually is. There are random pictures on the walls, all in gold frames, but I’m being propelled too fast to get a good look at the inhabitants.

I pull up short, slamming on the brakes in my wedge heels right outside a door with a gold plaque labelled Restrooms.

“No more surprises, you two. What am I about to see here?”

“Okay, so this club is called Valentine’s. It is a sex club for the elite of Britain—”

“Alex said there’s a Manhattan branch, too.” Jo cuts her girlfriend off as Nola shakes her head before continuing as though she’d never been interrupted.

“Valentine’s has several areas like the reception rooms, where we just entered. So if a member is looking to hook up, that’s where you go. There are many other areas we’ve not explored, but then again, we really enjoy this area, so…if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

I nod rapidly in a hurry-up motion when Nola pauses. “Okay, I surmised most of that. Now, answer the question, Little Miss Evasive! Where are we going?”

“This is the Voyeurism Chamber, Mila. We like to watch.”

Josie tilts her head to the side, taking in my careless shrug.

“I can get on board with watching.” I’m just grateful that it’s not something purely crazy because, with these two, you can never be too careful.

The corridor fans out, and there appear to be several doors with small gold plaques outside, indicating what sex show is being performed within.

Titles like All Male Throuple and Double Penetration make me question the decision to come at all.

Jesus, I’m more sheltered than I damn well thought.

They stop outside one that reads Rimming, and I start to feel just a little bit out of my depth, though I cover it well, I think.

“You two head on in. I’m going to nip back to the loo, then I’ll be right back.”

Before they can question me, I spin on my heel and head back the way we’d come, pulling my phone out to call an Uber.

My eyebrows furrow in annoyance to find there’s not a single bar of signal to be had in here.

Crap!

Heading out the way we’d come, I pass the stairs, and my feet carry me out through the thronging reception area before fresh air hits my nostrils.

Inhaling deeply, I glance down at my phone, annoyed further when there’s still no signal.

For Christ’s sake.