Page 45 of Painted Truths

But, instead of making her mine and owning her as my body demanded, I’d called her my brother’s sloppy seconds before slinking off to my shower to wank my cock so hard it chaffed.

It was that emptiness in my chest’s way of punishing me.

A subconscious way of hurting me for hurting her.

For taking a little sliver of light from her radiance, and once more reminding me that my reason for staying away was not just limited to my father or even my brother.

I need to stay away because my words and actions once more reminded me that I only know how to hurt and destroy. How to raze lives to the ground. I’m living proof of that fact, and I can’t do that to her.

I won’t.

That night we met, I was able to forget—if only for a fleeting moment—that I don’t have to be the man this world has made me. I could be so much more.

I’d wanted to be. For her.

But she deserves so much more than I am capable of giving. She deserves nothing less than the sun, the moon, and all of the stars in the night sky.

Everything that had followed that night had firmly reinforced the fact that I can’t even offer her tomorrow—let alone today. I’m broken.

Defective.

Needing the escape, I call the boys later in the afternoon. Following the last of my meetings on Tuesday, Nate and I fly to New York to spend some time with Caden before the first leg of their UK tour begins on Friday.

Knowing me as well as they do, it doesn’t take long for my friends to realise something is wrong.

North opens the can of worms, delicately as ever.

“What the fuck crawled up your ass?”

Levelling him with a stare that would have lesser men shitting their pants, I deadpan, “Your mother.”

Nate’s deep chuckle beside me vibrates through the sofa, soon drowned out by North’s guffaw. Having an ex-model as a mum invited a lot of MILF jokes back at school, but Cade’s too laidback to give a rat’s ass about any of them. However, he’ll freely admit his mum is still hot as fuck.

And he’d be right. His father is one lucky prick and treats his woman like the queen she is. I can see a lot of him in Caden and his desire to do anything and everything to make Layla happy, though I can’t see why when she’s such a fucking cunt.

The vibrations from Nate’s chuckle have ceased as he turns to look at me, his brow wrinkled in concern.

“Seriously, man, what gives? You never bunk off work, and you’ve definitely never turned down a quick transatlantic fuck with an air hostess or two, but both have happened this week.”

Blowing out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding, I raise my eyes to meet Nate’s.

“Do you remember I met that blonde in Velvet the day Misdirection signed with Spellman Sounds two years ago?”

Both men nod. “Yeah, the one with that epic peachy ass.” Of course, Nate would remember an ass like hers.

“Well, she works for me. At DeMarco Holdings. In London.”

Both men’s jaws fall open, and Caden’s eyes pop so much they nearly fall out of his face.

“I’ve kept track of her, in a way, but from a safe distance after the promise I made to dad, you know? But she’s Alex’s PA now, though I reckon there’s more to it than he’s saying, judging by his actions.”

Cade is the first to react, throwing a bunched-up napkin at my head.

“Come on, man. You can’t still be hung up on her. At least shoot your shot, man. You’ll never know if you don’t try. Right, Nate?”

Nate nods along before adding, “North’s right. At least ask Alex what’s going on there.”

“I did a couple of weeks back. He said they’re just friends.”