Page 38 of Deadly Forever

“Why what?”

“Why was that your first inclination?” Mandy asked.

James knit his eyebrows together as he regarded the thing he loved most. “Is this some elaborate way to get me to talk about my feelings?”

Mandy giggled. “No. I just … had the overwhelming urge to listen to your heart and I was already on the floor. I didn’t know if you would do it or not, but I wanted to see if you would.”

“Have I ever denied you?” James challenged. “Have I ever told you no?”

“I believe you’ve told me no many times,” Mandy said. “You’ve told me I can’t leave the house … or go to work … or go to the bar … or even walk between the house and guesthouse at times.”

“I only do that to protect you,” James argued. “I never tell you no unless I have to do it. Don’t accuse me of anything else because it bothers me.”

“I wasn’t accusing you,” Mandy soothed. “I know you live to take care of me. I know protecting me is the most important thing to you.”

“Not just protecting you,” James clarified. “Loving you is the most important thing. Protecting you is a part of that, but making you happy is in there, too.”

“I am happy,” Mandy said, her tone breathy as she pressed her eyes shut and listened to James’ heart. “I never knew it was possible to be this happy.”

“Okay, baby, that was so sweet that I need to hold you now,” James said, giving up any pretense of doing what she wanted. “We can still sit like this, but I need you to climb on my lap and let me hold you.”

Mandy didn’t speak. She simply did as he asked, releasing his hands and shifting her body so she straddled him. James ran his hands up and down Mandy’s back as he tugged her close, his lips fluttering over her cheek as he rocked her back and forth.

“So much better,” James murmured, loving the way her body melded against his.

Mandy giggled, catching him off guard. “You like to be in control.”

“So do you.”

“And yet somehow we fit,” Mandy murmured. “We’re both people who like to be in control and yet we always manage to compromise so we’re both happy. Why do you think that is?”

“Ah, I guess we’re being existential tonight,” James teased, rocking back and forth. “As for the rest, I don’t know. I just know that I’m happiest when I’m holding you. It’s as if you were made for me. Your body fits mine perfectly. My favorite sound in the world is your laughter. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know I wouldn’t change a thing about you or our life together.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but … there are times when I wake up in the middle of the night and panic because I think you’re gone,” Mandy admitted. “It takes me a moment to realize you’re only in the bathroom, but for some reason my subconscious recognizes your absence and it doesn’t like it.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, baby,” James admitted. “Do you want me to stop going to the bathroom in the middle of the night? I guess I can stop drinking fluids before bed.”

Mandy snorted. “No. That’s not what I was saying.”

“What were you saying?”

“My heart recognizes your heart even when we’re asleep,” Mandy replied. “My heart yearns for your heart. People say we’re co-dependent – and we probably are – but I never want that feeling to go away. I always want to yearn for you.”

It was a sweet sentiment, but James’ heart hurt at the words. She was so open and vulnerable it almost caused him physical pain.

“I yearn for you, too, wife,” James said, stroking the back of her head as he kissed her neck. “All I’ll ever want is you. The house is beautiful … and the money is nice … and the family members are okay when they don’t give me heartburn. I can’t live without you, though.”

“You’ll never have to live without me,” Mandy said, tightening her arms around James’ waist. “We’ll be together forever. In fact … yeah … we’ll even die together.”

James smirked. “Are you going to kill me before you go?”

Mandy shook her head. “I think our hearts need each other to beat. When one goes, the other will go.”

“As long as neither one of them goes for at least sixty years, I think that’s a marvelous idea,” James said, licking the ridge of her sensitive ear. “Hey, baby?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m feeling the need to be codependent.”