Page 107 of Bond of a Bewitched Highlander

Elsea's words of love had lured him, but what if he accepted them, let down his guard and she betrayed him again?

"You've never been betrayed by someone you love, Cat," he said, keeping his voice calm, willing her to understand. "You cannot grasp the agony of it. Imagine that just before your wedding, Torr went off and bedded another woman. How would you feel? If he gave a good excuse, if someone had threatened to kill you... could you forgive him instantly?"

Tears welled in Cat's angst-filled eyes. She bit her lip and thought for a long moment. "Not instantly. Nay. But after a year and a half... and if he explained it well. If he could make me understand. And if he still loved me, aye."

"Well, you're a far more forgiving person than I am."

"I understand that she hurt you."

"She did nay just hurt me, Cat," he said in a soft, deadly tone. "She destroyed me. 'Twould have been far more merciful if she'd stabbed me in the heart and been done with it."

Appearing drained, Cat plopped down on the chair and observed him, her lashes still wet. "I cannot feel what you feel, brother, but my heart aches for you. I can imagine the anguish, at least halfway. But you have hardened your heart against her. You have become so bitter, and the lack of forgiveness is destroying you. Elsea loves you more than life itself, and you will never find another who loves you as much."

Oh, hell. Remembering how many times Elsea had said she loved him in the cave. He wished with all his soul it could be true. That she could be true. That things could be the way they used to be. But they could not go back in time.

"Just words," Brodie hissed. "She never loved me." He had convinced himself of that long ago.

Cat blew out a sharp breath. "She had naught to live for, Brodie. Elsea was ready to give up her life for you and the selkies."

The words gored him. "What do you mean?" His voice came out a ragged growl.

"Do you nay realize what a grand risk it was for her to travel over twenty miles alone on a horse, following an earl and his garrison? Breaking out of the castle, then slipping on to a galley. She would've willingly drowned for you. Her life meant little to her after the breakup."

"Did she say that?"

"Aye. She said she had naught to live for, since she knew you would never forgive her, and she could never be with you. She is a broken woman."

He remembered Elsea's words on the shore, inviting him to make good on his threats of strangling her, then throwing her into the sea. Damnation! He did not wish her dead. Instead of killing her, he had kissed her. How daft was he?

Cat sighed. "I give up." She walked out, leaving him alone in the gloaming.

Aye, he had given up, too, long ago. No matter how much he had yearned for Elsea to be his bride and lifelong partner, he'd been forced to give that up. Once trust was demolished, it could never be rebuilt.

***

AFTER DRINKING A DRAM of whisky, which Torr had left on the bedside table, Brodie slept for a while. He awoke when Ruskin entered the dim room, carrying a tray of food.

"How are you feeling, m'laird?" Ruskin set down the tray on the table.

"Splendid. Where is everyone?"

"Preparing for supper in the great hall." Ruskin lit three tapers in the candelabra on the table.

"Ah." So, they had all abandoned him to his hellish, stewing thoughts, even Torr. Cat had no doubt convinced him to stay away so Brodie could think everything through. He didn't want to think. He wanted to forget everything. He craved swimming in the sea something fierce.

"Help me get out of this damned bed, Ruskin," Brodie growled, pushing himself up.

"M'laird? Surely you jest!" He dashed forward in wide-eyed panic.

"Nay, I'm most serious. Careful or your eyes will pop from your head and roll across the floor."

"I must ask Finnian." His manservant scurried for the door.

"Finnian is nay your boss." Brodie swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat on the edge. His stomach almost rebelled, but he remained there, eyes closed, until his head stopped spinning. Saints! His chest pained like it was getting sliced again, over and over.

"Finnian!" Ruskin yelled into the corridor, then turned back to watch.

"You will terrify the old man with your screeching," Brodie muttered. "He's been injured too."