Page 51 of An Uncertain Road

The bouncing of the car over rough, rutted roads was almost unnoticeable compared to the rending in his heart. For so long, he’d refused to entertain the idea of a woman in his life, of opening himself up to falling in love and having a family. He hadn’t felt worthy of such a blessing. Somewhere along this journey, Flora had covertly convinced him otherwise. He’d started hoping there could be a future for them together. He hadn’t even realized how much he wanted it until that dream was about to be snatched away from him.

He managed to give Flora the directions she needed to keep them on track, but he was hardly aware of doing so. Every time he looked at her, his heart ripped open a little more. If she wouldn’t believe him and she chose to stay in Philadelphia with her brother but Jensen couldn’t be part of her life, he would have to leave. Remaining so near her while knowing he couldn’t love her the way he wanted was a torture he couldn’t withstand. He would either have to convince her of the truth or leave everything and everyone else he loved in order to stay away from her.

With no reason to hurry, Flora stopped the car for a picnic lunch next to a picturesque creek outside a small town in Connecticut, where they watched birds flitting through the trees that lined the road as they ate. It was far more peaceful than any part of Jensen’s heart that day. He had to take his chance before Flora was lost to him forever.

As if they knew he needed time with Flora, Fred and Beth claimed they wanted to stretch their legs and took their sandwiches for a slow walk down the creek bank. Sitting next to Flora on a blanket by the trickling water, Jensen got to the point before she could find a way to escape him. “Please hear me out. That’s all I ask.”

She hesitated for long enough that his heart dropped, certain she would deny him. But finally, she responded with a curt nod.

His lungs finally took a full breath again. “Archie did try to force me to sabotage our team. He threatened to send word to Mr. Harrison that I was responsible for Gregory’s death. All I wanted was the chance to explain myself, instead of an impersonal letter breaking his heart all over again. So I stalled, told Archie I’d think about it.”

Her jaw tightened at that admission. Jensen nearly lost his nerve to continue. What was the point if she’d already made up her mind? But he had to tell her the entire truth, whether she believed him or not. It was time for the secrets to end.

“I managed to get through the first part of the tour without promising him anything, but then we had that rainy day with the ferry crossing and the repairs we had to make on the side of the road. I suppose he thought I went through with it and those things were my fault. He backed off and left me alone until he saw how well we were doing after the midpoint. He must have felt the need to put more pressure on me so we wouldn’t beat him. He started threatening the safety of our team. And then he told Fred.”

Fear of how she would respond made it impossible for Jensen to sit still. He jumped up and paced the length of the blanket Flora still sat on. “You may not believe me, knowing everything I kept from you and from those I love most for all this time. But I need to do all I can to repair the rift between us. I’m tired of secrets and worrying that people will be angry with me. I’m ready to take responsibility for all I’ve done, starting with the fact that I hurt you.”

He looked at her then, his throat tightening at the hard expression on her face. Jensen dropped to his knees next to her and took her hand in his. She didn’t stop him, but she also didn’t soften. “Flora, you mean so much to me. I pray that you can forgive me and that you’ll come to see my intention was never to hurt you or our team. I only did what I thought I could to protect us all. I’m sorry it went so wrong.”

He searched her lovely, precious features, still seeing nothing to indicate she believed his words. He could do no more, so he dropped her hand and retreated to the car, letting his roiling emotions pour in a silent prayer that echoed through his entire being. Lord, I did what I could. I’m going to trust You with my love for Flora. Please bring her back to me somehow.

CHAPTER 23

Flora felt terrible. She hated the mournful look on Jensen’s face every time she snuck a peek at him out of the corner of her eye. She wanted more than anything to fling her arms around his neck and tell him it didn’t matter if he’d tried to ruin her chances to win. If only they could ignore the entire thing and chase a happy ending together.

But she couldn’t do that. It did matter if he did what Sam claimed. Because she couldn’t commit her life to a man who would do something so underhanded to control her and protect himself. Clement had always done whatever was necessary to protect himself at the expense of Flora and Owen, the people who should have meant the most to him. She refused to let a person like that be part of her life again.

Which would be so much easier if she didn’t already love Jensen.

There was no getting around it. She did love him. When he’d taken her hand by the creek and apologized, her heart had wanted to burst into a thousand pieces. She saw a future without him stretching out before her, and it made her want to lock herself away and cry for the rest of her days.

As much as she’d thought she loved Henri, she’d never felt such a deep need to tell him her every thought.

Such a profound feeling of loss when he wasn’t by her side.

Such an ache when she imagined seeing him at family events and having no claim to his heart.

Perhaps it was for the best that they weren’t in the running to win the tour anymore. Flora couldn’t concentrate on the road. She followed Jensen’s instructions to get them back to the finish line at the AAA building, but she was hardly aware of any of the drive. The only thing she could focus on was his miserable face when she couldn’t say she believed him.

But why would Sam lie? Unless, as Jensen had guessed at the scene of the accident, Sam didn’t know the truth either. Maybe Sam thought he was telling her the truth when Mr. Franklin was the one who had lied. How could she know for sure? Was Jensen the selfish scoundrel Sam made him out to be, or the kind, caring man she thought she knew?

It was too much to sort out while trying to finish what should have been a triumphant experience in her life. Flora had driven well during the tour. She’d almost gotten them clear up through the field into a winning position before the accident. She should be proud of herself and her team for persevering and making it through despite all the obstacles they’d had to work around.

Instead, she was miserable.

Because she only wanted to experience such a moment if she could enjoy it with Jensen, and that was no longer possible.

They drove over the finish line to the sound of shouts and cheers from a crowd of onlookers, but Flora couldn’t help feeling they didn’t deserve much praise for a twentieth-place finish. Not after having a real chance to win and losing it because of a feud. Not after the relationship she’d come to rely on had been fractured.

The team climbed from the car and joined the other competitors who had all gathered in the AAA reception hall. It was time to find out the winner of the tour, but the Harrison Goods team mustered little excitement for the celebration.

Once the last few teams arrived, one of the head officials moved to the podium, and the entire room fell silent. “Well done, ladies and gentlemen!”

Cheers and applause filled the room, and the official waited with a grin until it quieted down enough to continue. “The Glidden Reliability Tour was quite a success. We set out to introduce the idea of automobiles as part of daily life to the country, and we achieved that goal. Newspapers around the world have followed your progress over the last ten days, and the public has been captivated by the stories you created.” He paused for effect, and there was more applause, less raucous than the first round but still too cheerful for Flora’s mood. “I know you’re all aware that there is still one item left before we can conclude the first running of the Glidden Reliability Tour—and that is to determine the winner.”

The crowd cheered again, but the official went on, raising his voice over the widespread speculation that began flying around the room. “Since the tour was run on a points system and you are all such skilled drivers, the majority of the finishing teams had perfect scores. As we explained in the beginning, each person who drove or rode in the tour gets a vote for the team that was the most skilled and sportsmanlike, the one who will best represent the good names of Mr. Glidden and the American Automobile Association.”

As the man left the podium, other officials started handing out ballots and directing people to a locked voting box at the front of the room. Unable to bear the frivolity any longer, Flora slipped out amongst the disarray of team members and passengers debating who they were voting for. She found a quiet spot at the farthest end of a long hall and sank back against the wall to gather her thoughts.