Page 5 of Down and Dirty Celebrity Edition

“I’m Naomi Victor,” the woman said. Her voice was whiskey-smooth, her smile gorgeously toothy, and there was something familiar about the way she spoke with her eyes. If only Amy could put her finger on it. “I’m stepping in as your host this season. As many of you know, Vivian and Sienna welcomed their beautiful baby girl into the world last month, and Vivian is taking some well-deserved parental leave.”

This was news to Amy. The happiest news. She clapped harder than everyone else.

“I have some big shoes to fill, and I hope to do them justice,” Naomi said. “And what better way to do that than with our first-ever Celebrity Edition? We’ve handpicked a mixed bag for this season’s cast. We have award-winning actresses, internet sensations, famous authors, elite sports stars, and arena-filling comedians.”

Suddenly, a PA dressed head to toe in black came running across the shore carrying an iPad. The look on her face was one of pure white-hot panic, which had to mean something had gone seriously wrong behind the scenes. But what? Naomi frowned quizzically at the screen, then lifted her head to address the crowd. “We’ll be taking a five-minute production break. Please stay where you are. We will get back into our introductions in no time.”

As soon as Naomi’s back was turned, noise broke out. Whatever was going on was production’s problem. No one cared. Not when there were twelve famous people standing together on a remote beach in the middle of nowhere.

There were oohs and aahs, followed by several excited comments: “I’m such a huge fan of your work.” “I can’t believe I’m meeting you.” “This is truly an honor.”

Amy was spinning in a circle to meet everyone and was just about to grab Kate’s wrist and start reciting Kate’s famous line from Orion’s Peak when Savannah broke through the crowd. For a split second, Amy thought she was going to walk right past her. But she didn’t. Clearly, this woman had no sense of personal space, because she walked forward and when she was inches away, she folded her arms across her chest. “I didn’t realize B-list authors were considered celebrities. Or did they let you back because you played the game before?”

Amy didn’t think she could be more offended than she had been back in Barnes & Noble. But it appeared Savannah had the ability to dig the knife in deeper. Amy opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Because Savannah was right. Amy wasn’t exactly what one would call a typical celebrity. She had fewer than five thousand followers on Instagram. If she wanted that blue check, she’d have to pay for it. But she’d been deemed a fan favorite after Season Ten, and that had automatically put her in the lottery for this edition.

“Umm—” she started, her tongue feeling furry. She knew what she wanted to say but she just couldn’t get the words out. “I—”

Thankfully, Kate interrupted. “I’ve read all your books,” she said. “My wife loves them too. In fact, we keep telling Luna that she might finally have some serious competition for our favorite sapphic romance writer.”

Brenda frowned. So too did Erica and Jade and Maya, as if Kate had said something she shouldn’t. But Amy didn’t care that Kate might’ve offended someone, because Kate had just said that she’d read all of Amy’s books, and what could be better than that?

“Do you know each other?” Sloan asked, tilting her head in the same way she did on that August edition of the Vogue cover last year. Amy got chills. She was seeing a real-life supermodel in action. “Because it sounded...”

“Shit,” Kate muttered, biting down on her bottom lip as if she’d spilled a secret.

And it seemed she had. It took Amy an extra second to catch it. Kate had mentioned Luna, which meant... Ding. Ding. Ding. Kate and Luna knew each other. Which, in Outlast Her, could only mean one thing: a pre-existing alliance.

Luna shook her head and exhaled loud enough to be heard from the other side of the beach. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag, so to speak. Kate and I are neighbors. Our back decks literally face the same water, and she pet-sits my cat Rufus every time Claire and I are in New York.” Then she turned to Wyn Carson, and before Amy could wonder why, Luna sighed. “Wyn lives on the lake too. She’s my cousin’s wife and one of my closest friends. Although I do wonder if we’ll be friends after this. Sorry, Wynnie. If I’m busted, so are you.”

Wyn gave a helpless little shrug, looking like she’d just been thrown under the bus.

Savannah opened her mouth to say something, probably something rude and sarcastic, but before she could, Naomi clapped her hands twice. Vivian had always used one signature clap, so this was a refreshing change.

“Alright, contestants, are you all ready to be divided into your pairs for this season?”

Chapter Four

Savannah was, in fact, not ready. She’d always known that she would be uncomfortable in this game. The sun would beat down on her neck, and the sand would chafe her inner thighs until they felt like two pieces of tenderized steak. She’d also fully expected her hair to succumb to the intense humidity and her skin to suffer under the high UV.

But this? Being forced to run along the long, curved arm of one of the Paraty Bay Islands searching for a golden stone that was as elusive as the missing sock from every load of laundry was just cruel. Especially when that stone could hold the biggest advantage of the season.

“REMEMBER, CONTESTANTS, THE PERSON WHO FINDS THE GOLDEN STONE FIRST WILL SET THE PRECEDENT FOR THE REST OF THE GAME. IT IS THE FIRST AND BIGGEST ADVANTAGE THIS GAME HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE THE PAIRING. DON’T LET IT SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS!” Naomi called.

Savannah had recognized her immediately from The Final Pound. Naomi had spent the last five years whipping middle-aged housewives into the best shape of their lives. Savannah had suspected Luna would be there after the author let a hint slip during her Book Time interview with Holly Mitchell. It was the same interview in which Luna had called Savannah a literary bully. The second Luna mentioned her little lakeside club with Kate and Wyn, Savannah immediately felt outnumbered, and everyone else probably did too. A pre-built three-person alliance on day one was what Outlast Her fans would graciously call an execution. Savannah wasn’t prepared for a beheading on day one, and what better way to stay out of the guillotine than to find that stone?

She sprinted along the stretch of powdery white sand toward the jungle, passing by Sloan and Ezra on their knees frantically digging a hole by a pile of sun-bleached driftwood that crisscrossed like an X. Idiots, thought Savannah, as if production would make it that obvious.

A canopy of wavy-leaved wild guava trees and purple bromeliads trapped heat beneath it, and Savannah couldn’t get a breath in. It was like being in a sauna while wearing a wool sweater. She had to lean against a mangrove tree, its roots snaking out like giant wooden spiders, just to catch her breath.

“How difficult can it be to find a golden stone?” someone declared from deeper in the jungle. Savannah squinted through a curtain of hanging moss and spotted Maya Lin, the gymnast, scanning the floor. She was the shortest contestant there, no taller than four feet eight. Her eyes were closest to the ground. If she couldn’t find it, then who could?

“What do you think the stones are for?” Avery asked, walking beside her.

Surely the advantage was nothing more than being able to choose your own partner. Savannah nearly chirped in with her own theory, but instead she slunk further back into the shadows of a palm frond. If she were going to find the stone, she wanted to do it alone.

“Nothing good, probably,” Maya replied. “Advantages are only good if no one else knows about them. Otherwise, it’s like having a big bull’s-eye on your back.”

Savannah hadn’t thought about it that way. What if they were right? What if the advantage was actually a disadvantage?