Page 151 of The Fire We Make

“Damn,” Ace cursed. He’d been only twelve or so himself when he’d gotten his infamous nickname but he couldn’t imagine someone looking at an eight year old girl and fantasizing about the weapon they’d turn her into.

Joy shrugged like it was nothing. “I guess I was showing signs, even then. I was always a little sad for no reason which made me cold, even as a child. Plus, I had my daddy’s temper.” She chuckled again and Ace couldn’t help but crack a smile too.

After a moment, all humor drained from her voice and her smile dropped. “After she died, my sadness became anger and somehow that made us closer and we clung to each other even more.”

Ace struggled to remain quiet as he worked to piece together the fragments she fed him but his curiosity got the best of him.

“What happened?” he asked quietly, his heart thumping in anticipation of what could have created the explosive assassin he witnessed earlier and the subsequent crumbling of that ferocity afterwards.

“After my mom died, it’s like nothing mattered to him anymore. He didn’t want the new life he’d built with her anymore, he wanted his old shit back and at ten, he started training me to take it.”

Joy turned her body to the side to rest her cheek against Ace’s chest. She sighed, snuggling deeper into him as if she thought she could nuzzle her way into his skin, seeking comfort and safety Ace had the feeling she’d never been given.

“The first time I had a meltdown, I was 13.”

She paused, gathering her words.

“It was small. Everyone wrote it off as teenage angst and my competitive nature. I did too but deep down something didn't feel right. I knew something felt off with me but I couldn't articulate what it was you know?”

She swallowed. Ace’s hand moved up and down her arm slowly.

“I knew normal 13 year old girls don’t give their debate partners black eyes for giving terrible answers during cross examination and then set the second place trophy on fire,” she huffed out a breath of laughter.

Ace pictured a fierce young Joy and couldn’t stop his own grin.

“Second place is just the first loser, Joy. This isn't a celebration, this is a learning experience...” she mocked her father’s deep voice. “Your team is only as strong as the weakest link.”

She shifted slightly and took a deep breath. Her jaw worked and lip trembled as she tried to keep going but her emotions rendered her silent.

Ace wrapped his arms around her tightly. “You don’t have to keep going,” he said.

“Yes, I do. You want answers and I’m giving them to you. I need you to know why I’m like this.”

Ace just nodded, running his hands up and down in the same pattern that always seemed to soothe her.

A few more moments of silence stretched between them before Joy continued. “When I was 15, this boy lied and told his friends he fucked me. It got back to his girlfriend and she and her friends jumped me. I’d been training for a few years at that point so I knew how to fight but... there were four of them.”

“Daddy was so pissed,” she huffed out a hollow laugh. “He said, ‘not only did you let those bitches beat yo ass but you let that nigga lie on you and tarnish your name. What you gon’ do, Joy? Cause no solider of mine would let that shit slide. Handle yo business’,” she said, hardening her voice as she quoted him again.

Ace couldn’t help but notice how similar Byron and Zachariah sounded. He knew exactly what it was like to grow up with a legacy placed on him that was too large for young shoulders.

To have your softness and childhood ripped from you for the sake of power.

Joy exhaled and continued.

“The next day, I beat them all up then found the boy and whooped his ass too. They all ended up in the hospital. Daddy had to pay off their parents to keep them from pressing charges on me.”

She paused.

“I guess now that I think about it, that’s what made what he did so...confusing. So hurtful. He’d always encouraged me to be...this. He always protected me and now...” she trailed off.

She shook her head, as if clearing her mind to get back on track then after a few moments hesitation, she continued.

Ace’s chest tightened. Dread coiled within him as he anticipated what she’d say next.

“Instead of saying good job…” she continued, voice quieter now, “He put me in the ring with five of his associates’ sons.”

Ace stilled, then his arms tightened around her.