Page 47 of The Perfect Heart

“Amazing? Wow.” Jonas had been all but lazing on the bar, but he sat up, his expression more animated. “I haven’t heard you use that word since, well, ever about anyone.”

“I guess I’ve never had a night with anyone like that before.”

And it was the truth. I’d never had a night like that, not a date, not sex.

“So what’s the problem?” Jonas asked, perceptive as always. “You had a great evening, and from the fact that I didn’t get my truck back until late the next day—fire and all—I’d say you had a great night, too. Are you overthinking things again?”

“Probably,” I huffed and took another long drink of my beer. It was going down smoothly—too smoothly. I had to watch it, or I would be the one needing the ride home tonight. It was easy enough to forget I was drinking as I prattled on, my excitement about Halle spurring on the flood of words. “It’s just”—I paused, looking for the right word—“weird. She’s still the Halle who was my best friend. But she’s also not. She’s this incredible woman who’s come into my life, and now I can’t think of anyone else but her. She’s on my mind all the time. At first, I thought I was just worried about her, but now?”

“Now I know what you’re thinking.” Jonas’s chuckle was wicked, and I flipped him off for what I knew was going through his head. He only laughed, then shook his head as he gulped his Jack and Coke. “Okay, for real, though. You have feelings for her. What’s wrong with exploring them, seeing where they go like any relationship?”

“Besides, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what’s going on between us. Where my feelings come from. What’s between us now? There are still so many questions. She’s opened up to me a bit more, but I still don’t know what happened in LA. And, on that note, she’s still technically married, and I don’t know why she left her husband.”

Jonas shrugged, entirely unconcerned by the points I had brought up. “Like I said, you’re complicating things, man. She told you she left him, swore up and down she was done with him, and hasn’t changed her mind yet. Why don’t you just go for it? You clearly have feelings for Halle, so what’s the worst that could happen?”

I could think of many bad things, like falling for Halle and having her leave me for Jack, shattering my heart. It had been hard enough when she’d left the first time and even harder when she’d cut me out of her life for reasons I still didn’t understand. How much worse would it be if I actually fell for her, gave her my heart, and she left?

“Okay, here’s another question.” Jonas tipped his glass at me, lifting a finger from the rim to point at me. “What happens if you don’t go after her? If you don’t try and see where this thing could go?”

It was a good question—which would be worse? Stopping things now before they could go any further? Trying to ignore these feelings for Halle that still crackled around me, even when she was off for the evening and across town and the river? Or going for it with the possibility that it might end, and end painfully?

Every relationship had that possibility, even the most serious ones. Otherwise, the divorce statistics wouldn’t be so ridiculously high.

“Nash.”

At the other end of the bar, Joseph jerked his head in his direction, and I nodded a signal that I’d heard and would be there in a second.

“Just think about it, okay?” An entirely serious expression had replaced Jonas’s usual smirk, and he met my gaze. “I haven’t seen you this happy before, Nash. Sometimes, the best relationships grow out of the strongest friendships.”

“I’ll think about it,” I promised, leaving him to see what Joseph needed.

The traffic never picked up—the heavy snow kept most people away, giving me ample time to think about Jonas’s advice, as I had promised. Ultimately, my desire for Halle, to see where this thing with her might go, won out. I didn’t think I could ignore what I felt for Halle. But I was going to take it slowly. Given what I had begun to suspect had gone on in LA, I didn't want to rush her. And I wanted to give us both time to figure out for ourselves and together how we felt and where we wanted to take things.

I closed the bar early and sent Joseph home, taking care of most of the closing duties myself as the snow continued to fall heavily outside. The text came in as I was locking up, and I smiled as I reached into my pocket, thinking it was Halle.

But it wasn’t Halle. It was that unknown number again, and my jaw tightened as I read the words, the snow falling on my coat and beanie: Do you really think you can replace me with her? Come now, Nashy. You’ll never be able to replace me.

Chapter 23

Halle

I TURNED MY HEAD FROM the snowy scene out the window to Nash. He had his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, the other on my knee. His thumb made slow strokes across my skin, making me feel warm and calm.

In the months since our first date, we had spent a lot of time together. Sometimes, he was over at my place. More often, we were over at his. I liked that I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to prop up the thermostat arm only to wake up to freezing temperatures. Also, his mattress really was so much more comfortable.

And we’d been taking full advantage of that comfort, whether simply to fall asleep in each other’s arms or for spicier things.

I felt happy and content for the first time since moving to LA. Unlike a bored kid or restless teenager, I appreciated the quiet, the lack of traffic, and the way life was slower and simpler. I liked seeing people around town who I knew, whether I’d only met them recently or had known them since I was a kid. Their smiles and friendly questions made me feel welcomed, wanted, and like I was part of a community instead of just one of millions.

The sense of being lost in time between then and now was slowly fading as I settled back into life in Leavenworth. I rediscovered the simple joy of watching the snow come down outside the window when I was warm and cozy inside, a mug of coffee or tea cradled in my hands. I also discovered how much I liked my job and interacting with locals and tourists alike, chatting, laughing, and learning more about them. There wasn’t quite anything like the splendor of walking to work from the apartment, the snow sparkling in the hazy sun, the sharp peaks of the mountains rising above the bare trees, the river rushing close by—it filled my heart with a sense of peace. And more than anything, I appreciated the simple joy of being in Nash’s presence, feeling at peace for the first time I could remember.

It helped that in that time, I hadn’t felt that I was being watched even once. Nothing strange had happened, either—no fires, no one breaking into my place, no odd phone calls. If it had been Jack behind it all, maybe he had finally realized I wasn’t coming back and had given up and gone home.

At least, I hoped that was it. The other possibility was that Jack was simply biding his time, playing with me, lulling me into a false sense of security. My husband had his rational moments, and I hoped that side of him was winning out instead of the callous, petty, vindictive asshole he had become the longer we had been together.

It hadn’t all been bad, of course. I wouldn’t have stayed so long if it had been terrible all the time. Jack had moments of thoughtfulness, when he’d done a nice thing for me without expecting anything in return, when I’d felt we had the life he had promised me when he’d gotten down on one knee.

I had some odd kind of hope that, if I weren’t there for Jack to control, if he stepped away from whatever toxic mess we’d become, he would see that we weren’t right for each other. I knew it was ridiculous, but I wanted Jack to see who he had become and how badly he had treated me. It was even more ridiculous to hope he had seen that I was happy here as I hadn’t been with him, and he had decided to leave me alone.