Page 75 of Pride, Prejudice & Wicked Pleasure

“You may be surprised. Love alters many presumptions.”

“He claims to love me, but it has not been tested. The strength of it would surely waiver if he knew my true situation.”

Abby pressed her lips into a line. Lizzy took it as indication supportive of her own view.

“My temperament differs too much from his. We should always be at odds. He is far too dispassionate for my taste.”

“It is unfortunate you think so.”

“Granted, accepting his proposal would be exceedingly convenient, especially if the worst were to happen, but I had always thought I would rather remain a spinster than marry a man whom I did not love.”

“Then there is nothing more to be said.”

They soon arrived at the gates of the park. Lizzy was a little curious as to the nature of Abby’s acquaintance with Mr. Darcy, but her own feelings toward the man had not yet completely settled, and she refrained from confusing herself more. Instead, she inquired into the petition and if it was expected that Mr. Wilberforce would introduce a bill in the House of Commons that year? Abby wondered when and how they might be able to enjoy each other’s company once more after they quitted London. Lizzy mentioned that she was to go on a tour with her aunt and uncle in late spring, and it was resolved that Abby, having never been to Hertfordshire, would attempt to pay Lizzy a visit in the summer.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Darcy lay in his bed and stared at the canopy as if it could provide him relief. It was late in the night and even the crickets had gone to rest. Insomnia had plagued him since that fateful day at the Temple of Bastet. The upheaval occasioned by his proposal to Miss Elizabeth and her subsequent rejection had delayed his communicating everything to Abby, as he should have done as quickly as possible. He ought to have called upon her before he had left Rosings, but he had been too upset by the course of events to want even her company. His pride and his heart wounded, he had fixed his attentions to repairing the much damaged estimation in which Miss Elizabeth held him. He simply could not suffer her to malign him with distorted truths and fiction.

His anger, however, dissipated in the ensuing days, replaced with grave concern for Miss Elizabeth should the worst come to pass. Without doubt, he would renew the offer of his hand and prayed that, under new circumstances, she would accept him, preserving her honour and saving him from an eternity of remorse. Not knowing how she had received his letter, he did not rule out the possibility that she would refuse him still. Her abhorrence of a union between them had been plain. In his letter to Abby, he had confessed his wrong and his failure to have taken all the necessary precautions to ensure the well-being of the student. In his mind, there was not to haven been a third lesson; thus, the use of a sheath would not have been required.

The force of his desire for her took him by surprise, certainly, but in the past, his mind had always prevailed over any corporal urges.

Rising, Darcy went to the basin upon his sideboard and splashed the water over his face. He could not think back on what happened in the Temple without arousal. No amount of shame seemed able to dampen his lust. Memories of being inside her, enveloped by her heated wetness, cradled by the tight yet supple walls of her cunnie… His hand went to his cock. It did not take long for him to spend, but the relief could not compare to the grandeur of being with her, plunging into her, making her moan in delight, feeling her writhe against him, seeing the burst of pleasure in her face as she reached her climax.

Morning brought little solace until the post came with a letter from Abby. He had stepped out to meet a gentleman on business at the local coffeehouse but stopped upon the threshold to tear open the letter. He scanned the letter. Relief washed over him as he read that she had stayed in London long enough to confirm Miss Elizabeth had received her flux and could not be pregnant. She added that his letter to Miss Elizabeth before his departure from Rosings had been well received, and that the young lady believed truth to incline toward him over Wickham. His heart swelled that his confidence had not been in vain. It had been no easy matter to revisit that most painful past, though it pleased him somehow to have shared it with her.

“But, my dear Fitzwilliam,” Abby continued, “I wish I could conclude that her opinion of you, while vastly improved, is sufficient for her to entertain any renewal of your previous offer. You have chosen to fall in love with a most independent young woman. As with you, her standards are high, and, as she is young still, she will not relinquish her ideals for anything less. And yet, I will not scruple to say that I think she would suit you quite well.

“On the other matter in your letter to me, I am not ready to entertain your resignation. You must not reproach yourself too much and, instead, appreciate the power of passion. No man is infallible. No man is impervious from fault. You do humankind an injustice to hold it before a mirror of perfection. Your integrity is not lessened by a single misstep. We may all take blame in the matter—you, myself, Nicholas—but we ought not allow the past to stifle us from what good will yet come our way in the future.

“If I were years younger and desirous of a husband, I do not think my friendship with Miss Elizabeth would stay me from competing for your affections. She is a fortunate young lady.

Yours, in friendship and love,

ABBY”

*****

It was the second week in May in which Lizzy, Jane and Maria set out together from Gracechurch Street for Hertfordshire; and, as they drew near the appointed inn where Mr. Bennet's carriage was to meet them, they quickly perceived, in token of the coachman's punctuality, both Kitty and Lydia looking out of a dining-room upstairs. These two girls had been above an hour in the place, happily employed in visiting an opposite milliner, watching the sentinel on guard, and dressing a salad and cucumber.

After welcoming their sisters, they triumphantly displayed a table set out with such cold meat as an inn larder usually affords, exclaiming, "Is not this nice? Is not this an agreeable surprise?"

"And we mean to treat you all," added Lydia, "but you must lend us the money, for we have just spent ours at the shop out there." Then, showing her purchases, she added, "Look here, I have bought this bonnet. I do not think it is very pretty, but I thought I might as well buy it as not. I shall pull it to pieces as soon as I get home, and see if I can make it up any better."

And when her sisters abused it as ugly, she added, with perfect unconcern, "Oh! but there were two or three much uglier in the shop; and when I have bought some prettier-coloured satin to trim it with fresh, I think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what one wears this summer, after the regiment has left Meryton, and they are going in a fortnight."

"Are they indeed!" cried Lizzy with the greatest satisfaction.

"They are going to be encamped near Brighton, and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer! It would be such a delicious scheme, and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all. Mamma would like to go too of all things! Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have!"

"Yes," thought Lizzy, "that would be a delightful scheme indeed, and completely do for us at once. Good Heaven! Brighton, and a whole campful of soldiers, to us, who have been overset already by one poor regiment of militia, and the monthly balls of Meryton!"

"Now I have got some news for you," said Lydia, as they sat down at table. "What do you think? It is excellent news—capital news—and about a certain person we all like!"

Jane and Lizzy looked at each other, and the waiter was told he need not stay. Lydia laughed, and said,

"Aye, that is just like your formality and discretion. You thought the waiter must not hear, as if he cared! I dare say he often hears worse things said than I am going to say. But he is an ugly fellow! I am glad he is gone. I never saw such a long chin in my life. Well, but now for my news: it is about dear Wickham. Too good for the waiter, is it not? There is no danger of Wickham's marrying Mary King. There's for you! She is gone down to her uncle at Liverpool: gone to stay. Wickham is safe."