Page 113 of Pride, Prejudice & Wicked Pleasure

He could not help reply, “It is of such a length that the addition of one more grievance will make no difference. And I would have more sympathy if I knew you to attend any part of what Catherine thinks.”

“Touché. But what of your own self-interest? Have you no wish to be happy? I know your love for Miss Elizabeth has not diminished. What you did for her sister and Wickham proves it. Why are you not now in Hertfordshire making love to her?”

He rose from his chair and went to the window overlooking the square

“Because I have received no encouragement to do so,” he said after a pause. “I was twice at her house. She could barely meet my gaze and spoke not four sentences to me.”

Abby knit her brows. “I cannot account for her behaviour, but I think you read too much significance into it. How can her feelings not be enhanced by appreciation for what you have done for her family?”

“Because she knows nothing of it. I swore her aunt and uncle to secrecy. I have no interest in cultivating her gratitude and derive no satisfaction if she were to accept my hand because she felt obliged to. You had stated in your letter that, though her opinion of me had improved, her feelings had not elevated to affection.”

“But that was some time ago.”

“Have you received a more recent communication from her?”

“No.”

“And your friendship is of a kind in which she would have confided her honest feelings to you?”

“I think so.”

“Then I have no reason to think that I have any more hope of winning her heart to-day than I did before.”

“You were not prevented from pursuing her in Derbyshire.”

“I did my utmost to convince her that I could be a man she could respect and love. Apparently I was not successful.”

“Are you despairing so easily? For shame, Fitzwilliam! The fair sex delights in the pursuit.”

“I did not think Miss Elizabeth one to play the coquette or employ such arts as to keep a man in unnecessary confusion.”

“I agree, but perhaps she has taken advice that the manner to strengthen a man’s ardor is to deny him. It is an effective strategy with many men.”

Darcy contemplated the possibility. “I would not want to grasp at false hopes.”

“You cannot know till you have confronted her.”

“Ironically, I think she would sooner wed her ‘mentor.’ But if her feelings are not decided in my favour, my revelation would be most unwelcome to her.”

On this, Abby could say nothing. She tried another course. “You did not want enticements from her before proposing to her the first time.”

“My arrogance led me to believe that she would accept my offer. Given the circumstances, she had more reason than most women to wed, and still she refused.”

“You will not convince me, Fitzwilliam. Will she not make you happy?”

“Beyond measure!” he cried.

“Then short of her spoken refusal, that she would sooner kiss a sow than receive your touch, I will persist. If you do not make every exertion to win her hand and secure your own happiness, you will live to regret it.”

He had no reply.

Abby rose. She had anticipated a short visit and still had her bonnet and gloves upon her.

“I will happily take a donation of funds on behalf of Mr. Clarkson,” she said, “but I sincerely hope not to see you in attendance.”

Crossing to him, she stood upon her toes and planted a kiss upon his cheek.

“Go to her,” she said.