Page 63 of Beneath the Quiet

I’m going to lose my mind if he keeps that up.

“I didn’t want my evening ruined by having to break up a brawl,” I breathe. My eyes catch Roísin still standing at the bar, eyes wide and mouth agape. I know I should move away from him, but it’s like I’m spellbound. It has to be the only explanation as to why I’m still here, limbs and feet frozen on the spot.

I sweep my gaze back to his. He moves his hand around mine, the light touch from the tips of his fingers so gentle despite the calluses on them that another tremble courses through me. He’s breaking his rule by touching me like this, but at least we’re not alone. If we were, I’d be at real risk of jumping his bones.

He takes a deep breath and moves his head a fraction, and I blink when his eyes release mine. I try not to breathe in his citrussy scent, but it’s impossible not to when he’s so close to me. So close that, with his head bent, his cheek almost touches mine. I bite my lip when that tug below my abdomen intensifies, turning my insides into heady mush. I suppress the low moan that wants to escape my lips and squeeze his hand instead. Aidan’s wicked smile turns into a frown at the surreptitious shake of my head.

“You need to step back,” I whisper. “People are starting to notice.”

He blinks rapidly, as if my words are the reminder he needs that we’re not alone, and with his hand slowly slipping from mine, he does as I ask. As soon as I lose the warmth of his body heat, I can breathe easy, and I turn away to walk back to our table.

But I don’t want to stay in the pub anymore.

I need to get away from him.

I have to process why his invading my space leaves me in such a state of horniness that I honestly can’t remember if I’ve ever felt before.

I remove my jacket from behind my chair and put it on before I grab my newspaper and pen. As I walk back to Aidan, I do my best to ignore the soft murmurs and curious stares following my every move and hold my head high. I give a low wave to Roísin as I walk back towards Aidan. She lifts her hand in the universal phone gesture, silently asking me to ring her later. I nod.

I raise my eyes to Aidan as I walk past him.

“Speak to you later.”

He opens his mouth as if to speak, but I don’t wait for his reply. Instead, I pick up my pace and exit the pub.

The fresh air on my walk home will do me a world of good. Unfortunately, the soft breeze doesn’t do anything to cool down the heat in my cheeks, and the closer I get to my home, the strangest feeling settles, just so far out of reach that I can’t put my finger on what it is. It flitters and swims at the periphery of my mind, teasing me.

“What is it?” I murmur.

My phone vibrates in my pocket as I reach the cottage, interrupting my thought process, and I pull it out. I frown and swipe the screen, trying to ignore the butterflies when I see Farmer flashing on the screen.

AIDAN (FARMER): You left me with a mystery on my hands.

Frowning, I unlock the door and put in the code, shutting the door behind me before I text him back.

ME: What mystery?

I hang up my coat and take off my shoes before heading into the kitchen. I don’t have to wait long for his reply.

AIDAN (FARMER): Philematophilia. I Googled it.

I toss the paper on the kitchen island and count the boxes.

“Feck it,” I whisper. “He’s right.”

I grin and pick up the phone again.

ME: Thank you, even though it’s considered cheating to Google it.

Carefully, I place my phone back on the hard marble counter and turn around to get myself a glass of water before I head upstairs to the library. My lips twitch with amusement, and the low tug in my belly spreads farther down.

Then it hits me like a freight train, the glass barely slipping from my fingers.

“Oh, my gosh.”

The answer is so obvious that I should throttle myself for not realising it much sooner.

The only way to get my raging libido in check is to have sex. I’ve been without it for so long that it must be my body’s way of telling me that I need more than my toys can give me.