Page 124 of Beneath the Quiet

She yawns and waves at me. “Say hi to Katie for me.

I jerk my chin at her. “Sure. I’ll speak with you later.”

I end the call and open the desk drawer, trying not to think too hard about the foreign feelings running amok in my head or the way my gut clenches each time my eyes catch sight of my sticky cum on my body. Visions of her jerking hips, her toy inside her instead of me make me ache all over again.

A man my age shouldn’t be ready for the next round of her so soon after the first, and yet my cock seems to think otherwise.

Finally, I find some wipes and do my best to clean myself up, tucking my half-hard cock inside my boxers, then pull up my jeans and walk to my office door to unlock it.

I try not to think of Maeve as I click on the mouse to wake up my computer.

Even though I manage to work on the last details of the schedule, she’s always there, at the edge of my periphery, with her warm eyes and sassy smile teasing me.

I shouldn’t want her this much, and yet I can’t seem to stop. Each time I’ve had her, I want her all over again, and that’s not exactly what this relationship is supposed to be about. It’s about getting an itch scratched, but also about showing Maeve that she’s every man’s fantasy.

That her ex isn’t worth any of her tears.

That she’s worth risking everything for.

Restless energy washes over me, distracted again. I lean back from my desk and get up, needing to expel steam in another way instead of being stuck in my office. I step over to the windows and make a pitiful attempt to get lost in the beauty of my land, but I can’t seem to get there this time. I put my hand on the window, pressing it, trying to find the anchor that holds me tethered to the land and our home, but it doesn’t work.

Not this time.

“What have you done to me, Mae?” I whisper.

My quiet plea goes unheard. All it leaves me with is the strangest, insistent feeling in my chest. In my blood. I don’t blink for the longest time, until blurry spots dance before my eyes, and I shake my head at my foolishness.

I lied to her today.

My lust for her is growing into so much more than like. I can’t say that I know what’s happening to me, but I do know that whatever it is, I don’t want it to end. Telling her about how I met Tierney, remembering how we met and sharing that with Maeve didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.

I want more of Maeve.

Her thoughts. Her laughs. Her tears, even, as long as I’ll be there to wipe them all away.

My heart pounds in my chest, but it’s not followed by the excruciating pang of grief or despair anymore.

For the first time in twelve years, I feel the tiniest hint of hope for the future. It’s the kind of hope that will either make or break me.

I guess I’m finally ready to explore it.

I pull out my phone and send a text to Maeve:

ME: Chinese or Indian curry?

I watch the screen as the waves dance, then stop, then start up again.

WILDFIRE: I have to go with the classics. Fish ‘n’ chips.

My lips spread as I read her answer. The woman never ceases to amaze me, always doing something I don’t expect from her.

ME: Even better. I’ll order you some from Fred’s down at the harbour.

WILDFIRE: Breaking the rules again?

ME: Nope. I’m not taking you out to dinner. I’m ordering you a takeaway.

WILDFIRE: You know, I’m not even going to argue. Not this time.