Page 106 of Lovestrung

I wet my lips.

“Ethan, please…”

“Have you read my texts?”

I hesitated but went with the truth. “No.”

“Read them. When you’re done, call me again.”

“That’s not the right way to get me to…Ethan?”

Frowning, I pulled the phone from my ear and gasped in shock. He’d hung up on me.

“Fucking men!” I slumped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. For a short moment, I considered ignoring him, but curiosity got the best of me. Sighing, I rolled to my stomach and picked up my phone again. I swiped the screen and scrolled to our messages, but I had to swipe almost to the top of the thread until I found the last one I’d sent him. Then I took a fortifying breath and began to read.

Ethan: Before you, I thought the sun was a myth.

Ethan: Before you, I thought I’d always walk in the rain.

Ethan: Before you, I thought I’d always be alone.

Ethan: You captured my heart when I was only thirteen, sunshine.

Ethan: Your smile brought warmth to my cold, bleak soul.

Ethan: Your hand in mine gave me strength.

Ethan: Your company healed me.

Ethan: Yeah, I fell in love, only I didn’t recognize it for what it was at the time.

Overcome with emotion, I sniffled and tried to wipe the tears that had started to cascade down my cheeks away, but they kept pouring down, causing his words to blur and jump. But now that I’d started reading, I couldn’t stop. His beautiful words – his declaration of love – which seemed so out of character for him, swept through the hurt and anger in my heart, leaving room for my love for him once more.

Ethan: When you were fifteen and gave me your first kiss, I wanted to feel free to love you.

Ethan: But I didn’t feel worthy of you.

Ethan: For years, I felt like a lovestruck fool.

Ethan: I wanted to go back to that sweet memory and make it come alive again.

Ethan: I wanted to believe it was real.

Ethan: I wanted to love you, but I didn’t think I could.

“You stupid, stupid man,” I let out on a shuddering sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ethan: When you were eighteen, I wanted nothing more than to give in to your sweet seduction.

Ethan: You were right there, your lips so close, your body soft and compliant in my arms.

Ethan: Christ, I wanted you. Wanted to be worthy of you.

Ethan: But I didn’t believe I’d ever be lucky enough to win you.

Ethan: I wanted so many things, but I couldn’t have them.

Ethan: You weren’t meant for me.