Page 33 of Bad Run

I have dedicated my life to baseball. I’ve let down my father, my brother, and probably my grandfather if he were still alive, when I decided to play ball instead of joining the service like them. Dad still hasn’t forgiven me. Only my mother and grandmother have given me that grace.

Now here I am, thinking about jeopardizing my career for a woman. Being with Gwen is a tremendous risk. I could lose everything, and I’ve already lost enough in my life.

If only I had a crystal ball that could tell me if we would work out. If the risk would be worth the reward.

It would be, the voice in my head whispers as the ache in my chest grows unbearable.

Why the fuck does it have to be her making me feel like this? The one woman I can’t have. Maybe I need to find someone else to help me move on.

The words move on bounce around in my head as I tear my eyes away from Gwen.

“Yeah. Fuck it. I’m in.”

Cam puts a hand on my arm. “Dude, are you sure?”

I look back at Gwen to find her walking out of the locker room, face down, staring at her phone, as Dougie trails behind her. “I’m sure. Let’s fucking do this.”

“Fuck yes. Romero?” Reed asks Nico.

“What about me?” Nico takes off his jersey and chain, hanging them both in his locker. He’s been dodgy lately. I would be, too, if my childhood best friend betrayed me. I’d probably be home plotting my revenge if I were him.

“Are you in or what?” Reed asks impatiently.

“Count me out, boys. My knees feel like shit tonight.” Nico looks away, and I know he’s lying. But I keep my mouth shut. I don’t like people in my business either.

“Seriously? What the fuck, Romero? You got a chick we don’t know about?” Blake asks in confusion.

The image of Nico on his phone while we were on the road last week pops into my head. He’s not one to be on his phone for more than a second, so it makes sense. I wouldn’t put it past him if he were seeing someone.

“Nope. Just not feeling it. It’s fucking Wednesday. Only sad chicks going through a breakup or cleat chasers are partying on a Wednesday night. I don’t feel like working that hard, so I’ll pass,” Nico answers coolly.

Blake and Reed burst out laughing as a lead weight settles in my stomach. The last thing I want to do is meet someone who is more into my status and bank account. I did that already, and that’s not what I’m looking for now. Not that I know what I’m looking for, but it’s for sure not a superficial relationship.

“Whatever you say, Grandpa,” Reed teases, hobbling around like an old man as he limps toward the showers.

“Hey. You didn’t ask me?” Blake shouts at Reed’s back.

Reed tosses a wad of medical tape at his head. “I don’t need to ask you, numbnuts. I know your horny ass is in.”

“It’s true. I’m horny as fuck. I’m thinking …” Blake weighs his imaginary lady options silently. “Redhead tonight.”

Cam smugly kicks his legs up onto the shelf in his locker. “I’m so fucking glad to be done with the clubs. I have a gorgeous wife at home, waiting for me.”

“Good answer,” Nico snipes back, causing Cam to crack up.

Reed whips his wet towel at Cam’s feet with a snap. “Brownnoser.”

“Fuck, that hurt.” Cam rubs his foot and grumbles, “I can’t wait for a woman to come along and flip you ass over feet.”

“You take that shit back before I catch your disgusting monogamy germs.” Reed shivers in mock disgust.

“You’re missing out,” Heath says. He bumps knuckles with Cam, who agrees. The two of them are both married to amazing women. You can feel the love pouring off them whenever they are together.

As I stare at the empty doorway, I can’t help thinking I might be missing out on that too.

Why the fuck did I agree to go out with these two?

I’m sitting in the back of Reed’s G-Wagon on the way to the club as they bicker in the front seat over the music. We just left the restaurant, where we grabbed a couple of steaks for dinner, and are cruising through the city.