Page 55 of Falling for Keeps

“Yeah. That was weird. I’m a diehard blue lover.”

Mom shrugs. “Ben liked orange for a minute, so of course you had to have the same favorite color.”

I laugh. “Well, Penny isn’t copying another kid. She’s copying her mom.”

“All little girls need a woman to admire.”

That settles uncomfortably, making me feel slightly sick. Jen isn’t exactly the best role model. She’s vain and materialistic and doesn’t put her family first. Any woman who’s going to give up the rights to their child that quickly is problematic. The exact opposite of Emma, who never seems to get tired of Penny’s enthusiasm, friendship, braiding requests, or would-you-rather questions.

That woman has the patience of a saint.

“That’s why I’m glad we moved home,” I say. “Now she has you. Plus, it’ll be easier to see Maven up here.”

Mom pours water from a kettle into her mug and dunks a tea bag in it. “It looked to me like Emma and Penny have really hit it off.”

“She’s great. I don’t know what kind of kid training they do at the library, but Emma’s a natural with the elementary school crowd.”

“Penny doesn’t seem to be the only one enjoying a new friendship.”

“I can’t, Mom,” I say, leaning on the counter and not thinking about pressing Emma against the brick wall outside of the bar. “I know what you’re trying to say, but I’m not interested in a relationship.”

“Jen left a year ago, right? It’s okay for you to move on, honey.”

“It’s not about Jen, though. I’m not hanging on to my marriage. I’m focusing on the new practice and Penny, which is taking all my attention. I don’t have room for anything else.”

If I tell her the idea of trusting another woman gives me hives, I’ll get an earful, so I keep my deeper reasons to myself. Mom is the exact opposite of everything Jen ended up becoming.

Which, yeah, that proves not all women are like Jen. But my experience is what it is. How would I even know if a woman is trustworthy? How can I know she won’t change ten years and one child down the road?

“Sometimes it’s nice to share the burden with someone else,” Mom says. “That’s all. A healthy relationship and real love won’t make the hard things disappear, but it does mean someone is walking beside you. That’s how they lighten your load—how you lighten each other’s.”

Does she wish she’d had someone to help lighten her load all these years? Mom is probably watching me enter the situation she raised me in and panicking, wanting to save me from pain the same way she hid it from me as a kid. I never felt like a burden or a trial, but I know things were hard for her. How could they not have been?

“Maybe someday,” I finally say. “Right now, it’s not on my radar. Men and women can be friends. Emma is stepping in as a good friend right now.”

“Okay, fine. I won’t say anything else. But keep in mind that Emma could have different expectations than you. I don’t want her to be strung along.”

“Don’t worry. We’re on the same page.” I fight a yawn. “Besides, she has a date tomorrow night.”

Mom’s entire brow rises. “With who?”

“Some librarian guy. I’ve seen him hit on her, so there’s definitely something there.”

“I stand corrected.” She gives a little smirk and sips her tea. “Here I was, worried you might go back to your high school ways and end up hurting that girl, but now I hope you walk away unscathed.”

I shake my head, smiling. It’s been a long time since my high school days.

Rain pings against the window, catching my attention. I don’t mind the sound—it makes me feel like I’m really home.

“Well, I’m off to bed. I think it’s going to pour overnight.”

“Looks like it. Good night, Mom.”

Movement through the front window catches my eye, and I see a light come on in the detached garage across the street. What the—oh, no. The rain.

I start for the front door, shoving my feet into the first shoes I see.

“Where are you going?” Mom asks.