Page 24 of Welcome Home

For years, it had been strict regimens, labs, needles, and restrictions. Every other day, I contemplated whether this would be the day that my lupus really said fuck you and these kidneys. It had already given me a fuck you, but there were so many other ways that lupus could give me an ultimate fuck you. Now, I sat in my bed with hope and disappointment seesawing.

Falcon’s hand tightened on my thigh. “Alright, baby. We’re ready.”

I tittered as a tear escaped. “We’re ready? I barely have a bag packed, so I know you don’t.”

His head bucked back, and his jaw tightened. “Mazikeen, don’t fuckin’ play with me. You got me and my love fucked up.”

He climbed out of the bed, turned on the lights, then left our bedroom. What the hell is he doing? Moments later, he walked back into our room with matching weekenders in his hand. My head tilted because when he showed me these bags on a website months ago, I thought nothing of it. Well, I thought they were expensive as hell, but you paid for genuine leather.

He set both bags on the bed. “Your nigga stays ready. The only thing you need to put in here is your medication. Your ID and stuff are in your big ass purse. All my shit is in here down to extra ChapStick in case your lips get ashy. Like I said, we’re ready.”

I sucked my teeth. “You didn’t have to say all that, nigga. You’ll still kiss these ashy lips,” I said with the corner of my top lip turned up.

He climbed on the bed, leaned into me, then kissed my lips. “You damn right, I’ll kiss the fuck out of those ashy ass lips. I love those lips whether they’re ashy or not.” He kissed my lips again. “I’m going to take a shower. Call Lula.”

He gave me a final kiss before he headed to the bathroom. I pulled over the weekenders to see what he actually packed in them. I went through the bags to see that he packed everything we needed and more.

What is this doing in here? My journal that I didn’t realize he knew about was tucked between my jeans. I pulled it out and rubbed the cover of the leather. It was my the sky is the limits journal.

When I first started dialysis, I was bitter. I couldn’t understand how God could do this to me. It was bad enough that I had lupus, but no! He had to give me the one that destroys my kidneys. It wasn’t fucking fair.

For weeks, I complained about the things that I could have been doing instead of dialysis. One day Lula presented me with this very journal. She told me to make a list of the things that I could be doing so that after I received my new kidney, I could do them.

I opened the book to look over the list. There were so many activities I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, food I wanted to eat listed. It had been a while since I’d written in the journal because love had taken the place of bitterness. The mere fact that Falcon felt this journal was important enough to pack spoke volumes.

I got myself together to make this call. It’s 3:20 . . . Lula is going to curse me out. I long pressed the number three on my phone screen.

“Who’s dead?” Lula Ann answered on the third ring. She had this amazing ability to never sound asleep. She could wake up in the middle of her sleep, and she would sound like she had been awake all day.

I took a breath. “The transplant coordinator called. They might have a kidney for me.”

Shuffling was heard on the other end. She asked if I was serious. The words barely left my mouth to confirm that I was serious before she screamed. Her scream was so loud that I pulled the phone away from my ear and dropped it. When I picked the phone back up, she was still screaming. “Rome, get up, baby! They got a kidney for Mazikeen!”

“Lula Ann, I said might. I didn’t say it was a for sure thing.” I spoke over her loud ass instructions to Rome.

Her loud huff told me that it came with an eye roll. “Mazikeen Joy, I don’t give a fuck what those folks said. They called, so I’m coming. Do you have your bag packed?”

There was nothing that I could do or say that would stop her. She was coming, and that was that. “Yes, Falcon packed my bag.”

“That’s a good man, Maz! Good, we’ll be there soon.” The line became so quiet that I pulled the phone away again to see if she disconnected already . . . She hadn’t. “Mazikeen, I love you so much, sis. No matter what happens, it’s all gonna work out.”

A tear pooled in the corners of my eyes. Her words were light as a rock. “I know, sis, I know.”

Over An Hour Later . . .

When our doorbell rang earlier, I thought it was Lula Ann, but it wasn’t. It was Mama Lauren, Pop Franklin, and Dove. Falcon called them when he went into the bathroom, and they all came. They came for me.

I heard the engine of Rome’s loud ass truck when it pulled onto the street. In anticipation, I opened the door and walked onto our porch. Rome got out then walked around to open the door for my best friend. When she climbed out of his truck, my laughter was instantaneous.

The sun had not risen yet, but this woman had on diva sunglasses. She hooked her designer bag on her arm before she trekked my way. “Girl, why the hell do you have on sunglasses when there is no sun out here anywhere?”

She stopped in front of me. Her hand went to her hip. “Um, this is a life-changing, core memory. When you look back on this day, I refuse to be remembered as broke. What you’re going to remember is that I’m a boss-ass bitch.”

“Lula Ann, what I’m going to remember is that you are a damn fool. That’s what I’m going to remember.” I chuckled as I shook my head.

She lifted her hand, then pointed her finger at me. “A fool but not broke. Mission accomplished. Let’s get inside.”

She kissed my cheek before she walked past me into the house. I gawked at Rome. “That’s your woman, sir.”