Page 40 of The Devil’s Lair

Besides, I don’t know what I am, only that the idea of intimacy with anyone, man or woman, makes me feel physically ill. Has made me physically ill on the occasions I’ve tried it. These days, I don’t bother. I’ve accepted myself for who I am, faults and all.

“Okay, here are the rules. Isla comes first. Always. Whatever she needs takes priority.”

“Couldn’t agree more.”

“I’d like a trust fund set up for her, so she won’t ever have to worry about money. I’m sorry if that makes me sound mercenary, but it’s non-negotiable.”

“Done, and you’re not being mercenary, you’re being sensible. Next.”

Her eyebrows twitch, a brief frown making an appearance as though she expected a battle and I handed her the victory.

“I would like to earn money of my own so I can be financially independent, too. I don’t know what that looks like right now, but I never want to find myself weakened again because I don’t have access to funds.”

“That’s fine by me. But until you figure out what you’d like to do and start earning, I would like to financially support whatever you need.”

She pauses for a few seconds. “Okay, I can live with that as long as you let me pay you back over time.”

I withhold a sigh. She is so prideful. It’s an admirable trait, but damn, she’s stubborn. “If you wish.”

“Rule four. If you ever raise a hand to Isla or me, or scare or upset my daughter in any way, I’m gone.”

I can’t hide the shock on my face, my jaw slackening. “I can assure you I would never raise a hand to you or Isla.”

“I just wanted to make that clear.”

The trauma this woman has suffered at the hands of that fucking bastard stirs something inside me. A kindling rage that simmers beneath my skin, looking for an accelerant. Not at her or Isla, though. Never at them.

“I’m sorry you felt the need to point that out. I am glad you felt able to, though.”

A flicker of surprise drifts across her face. “You’re right. I did.” She frowns again, then shakes her head slightly as though she’s trying to work through a complex problem.

“Rule five,” she continues. “Always be honest with each other. This may not be a real marriage in the conventional sense, but honesty is important to me. That doesn’t mean I want you to share your private thoughts or experiences, but if I ask you a direct question, I want you to answer with integrity. And I will do the same for you.”

“Agreed in principle. There might be occasions where I can’t tell you what you want to know for security or family or other reasons, but if that is the case, I won’t lie. I will tell you that I’d rather not say and share my reasoning.”

“That seems fair.”

“Anymore rules?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Glad to see you keeping me on my toes.” Amusement tugs at my mouth.

“I reserve the right to add more in the future,” she says without reacting to my joke.

“Goes without saying.”

She heaves a sigh as though she’s relieved to have got all that off her chest.

“Feeling better?” I let a natural smile come.

“Much. You can set any rule you like, too. This isn’t a one-way street. I’m happy to sign a prenup if you’d like. If this goes wrong, I don’t want all your riches, only the financial compensation of Isla’s trust fund, and maybe a little seed funding to help me start over.”

“Prenups in the UK aren’t worth the paper they’re written on, and I should probably mention that De Vils don’t usually get divorced. That being said, as our situation is such an unusual one, if you did happen to meet someone in the future and fall in love, I certainly wouldn’t stand in your way. I’m sure my father would approve an amicable split in those circumstances.”

“That will never happen. I’m done with men and conventional relationships. I just want to live my life, maybe find a job or a fulfilling career, and ensure Isla is well taken care of.”

“And I am happy to provide all those things. In terms of rules, I only have one.”