Page 44 of Falling for the King

‘I feel like I’m wagging school.’ Kat sighed and he heard her move off the seat. ‘Dad would be so proud. Did you ever skip class?’ He opened his eyes to find her standing opposite, facing him.

‘No.’ Had it even crossed his mind? Probably not. He’d always keenly been aware of the responsibility that rested with him. ‘I’ve always done what’s expected of me.’ Always, he repeated to himself, because for some reason he felt he needed to.

‘Did you ever want to break free?’

‘Yeah, I did,’ he said divulging something he’d never admitted to another. ‘I used to long to go someplace where people didn’t know me, have any expectations, need anything from me. And I found that with hiking right here.’ He pointed to the forest that enclosed them and kept his focus on that.

‘When was the last time you got off the beaten track and camped out under the stars with no phones, cameras, diaries?’ she asked quoting back what he’d said yesterday.

‘The summer before my father died.’

‘Before you became king? That was sixteen years ago.’ Incredulousness increased her volume.

He shrugged feeling her gaze upon him.

‘Why not since then?

‘At first there was no time.’ He drew in a sharp breath at the memories of the absolute mess he’d inherited. ‘And then I never wanted to get into a position like that again and I got used to prioritising other things. But being up here, I’d forgotten how much I love the freshness of the forest, the smell of the pines, the endlessness of it.’ He turned to face her. ‘And if it wasn’t for you, I’d still be at my desk missing all this,’ he finished with a sincerity that deepened his voice. ‘You see I haven’t been up here in sixteen years either.’

She fiddled with his scarf around her neck. ‘I’m glad you brought me up here, Xavier. It’s been good for both of us.’

He nodded. Silence settled between them and he thought about what she’d said. The surprise had been for Kat, he never realised how much he’d get out of it as well.

‘I’ve been thinking about what we talked about on the train,’ she said.

Tension raced through him. They’d spoken about a lot of things.

‘And being up here, well I’ve decided I’m going to cut down on my university subjects,’ she said in a rush then noticeably slowed. ‘I don’t need to do three each semester, it’s too much and I’m putting all this pressure on myself. I’ve been so busy trying to prove that I was up for it that I forgot to take a breath—’ which she paused to do, ‘—and actually enjoy it.’

‘That’s fantastic, Kat. That takes real courage to make changes, to try a different tack, especially when you’ll have countless critics. And not that you need it but you’ll have my full support, always, for any decision you make.’

‘Thank you. You know I feel better already saying it out loud.’

And so did he at seeing her visible relief.

Silence settled over them again and he mulled over what she’d said until realisation hit him, she was brave enough to make changes, what was holding him back, other than the past? He rubbed a hand over his jaw. He wasn’t prone to making on the spot decisions, he always weighed up the scenarios yet their conversation of yesterday had niggled at something lingering at the back of his mind that he no longer wanted to ignore. When he’d taken over the throne corruption had been rife and he’d become personally involved in crucial countrywide projects to counteract that. And it had worked, along with his zero-tolerance stance resulting in a changed culture. Now even if he could, did he want to keep up his frantic workload? The answer reverberated deep within him. He didn’t.

‘I rearranged the transportation infrastructure teleconference scheduled for this morning so I could come up here,’ he said. ‘Now I’ve decided I’m going to hand over the whole project to the chief engineer. He’s more than capable.’

Kat beamed her approval at him touching a part of him he didn’t know existed, that wanted her to be proud of him.

‘That’s a brilliant decision, look at us, it must be all this fresh air getting to our brains.’ Kat smiled brighter than any sunray.

He laughed feeling like a weight had lifted off his shoulders as he connected to her in a way that went beyond anything he’d ever felt, that he’d ever had with anyone else. It wasn’t lost on him, with all the years of experience he had, it was Kat who was teaching him. And he didn’t mind one bit.

‘As much as I don’t want to leave I fear I’m turning into an icicle.’ Kat jammed her hands into her pockets.

He rose to his feet with a stab of regret that this interlude was over, that he wouldn’t be up here again with Kat and suddenly the years stretched before him cold and lonely. He rubbed a hand over his nape to dislodge the crazy thought. He wasn’t lonely, he had a full rich life, the endless list waiting for him in the study testament to that including the one full of potential brides. That needed to be actioned … urgently.

***

Pushing aside the bedroom window drapes Katerina tried to peer past her reflection to the storm howling outside. Luckless, she pressed her nose against the cold glass and tried again. Giving up she dropped the curtain and prowled around the room the roaring fire warming her despite wearing a silk nightdress and nothing else. Tired but restless she mulled over the last twenty-four hours. Late last night when she and Xavier had arrived at the winter retreat he’d offered her a morning tour, or he’d assign a staff member to do one. If there hadn’t been a crackling awareness between them, she wouldn’t have given it a second thought, it was fitting for him to do so. But she’d given it a second thought and a whole lot more. Ultimately, she’d decided as much as she wanted to limit one-on-one time with him, this was different, appropriate. Even so she’d made a plan to keep him at a distance at least mentally. No more shared confidences like they had on the train which had broken down boundaries instead of building them up. Except this morning, almost immediately, she realised that was impossible. And that had been before his surprise. She gulped at the lump that settled in her throat. How could she keep her guard up around him when he did things like that? Made her feel like that? She exhaled a long and shaky breath. She had no idea.

What she did know was this morning standing high in the tower looking over the forest something had shifted within her. Like she was slowly being awakened and nothing would be the same. She could see that she’d spent years behaving like a hamster on a wheel trying to prove, especially to herself, that she was suitable, worthy of her role. In doing so she’d set impossible standards for herself all driven by fear. She had to stop that. And Xavier, he’d not only listened and supported her changes he’d been encouraged and inspired … by her. Her heart flipped at the memory.

She hadn’t seen him since, he’d been holed up in his space and she in hers. She’d even had an afternoon nap, something she hadn’t done in years. She hoped her team had done the same on their precious day off with all staff except Frederick and a handful of security enjoying a break at a hotel in the main town. Rubbing a distracted hand over her heart she wondered if they’d still be able to leave the retreat in the morning courtesy of the storm. If not, what about their schedule? Either way she should be in bed. Bypassing the silk robe that matched her nightdress she grabbed her thick grey one and wrapped it around herself. She was going to see the storm from the best vantage point she knew of inside the retreat, the dining room in the middle of the second floor.

Hurrying along the dim corridor and down the stairs the eyes of countless dead animals followed her. She shivered, it was ghoulish enough during the day never mind full of night-time shadows. Reaching the dining room in record speed she focused on the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the floodlit courtyard. A mass of swirling white drew her forward until awareness prickled down her spine. She wasn’t alone.