Page 29 of Falling for the King

‘You were barely in your teens.’

He nodded.

‘Max was only four.’ Xavier had managed, Max so little hadn’t. Over the years Xavier had made countless allowances because of that. He didn’t believe Max ever recovered from the abandonment of their mother. His father certainly hadn’t. He’d fallen apart after she’d left him, barely able to function nor parent his children, never mind run a country. Xavier had seen first-hand the destruction of his parent’s marriage, the impact it had on others, and how they both used love to excuse inexcusable behaviour. He was having none of it. Respect, shared values and hard work that’s what he was looking for in a partner. He wouldn’t be repeating their mistakes nor would he ever put his future children through anything resembling his own tumultuous upbringing.

‘That’s so sad and makes me understand better why he craved her attention like he did. If you hadn’t allowed her back in the country for our wedding, I don’t think he would’ve held it here.’

‘I would’ve never prevented her from attending our weddings.’

Xavier had allowed her to attend both his and Max’s weddings although he’d drawn the line at letting her bring her latest lover, much to her disapproval. He’d also allowed her back for the funerals of his father, wife and brother. He would have never prevented her from attending any of them. On all occasions she’d only wanted to stay the barest amount of time. She was always eager to head back to the French Rivera, her home base since she’d left them all.

‘I know. Do you see much of her? The press prints the occasional photo of you together but I’ve never heard you mention her.’

Because he preferred not to, something his mother was completely okay with. She didn’t like the reminder that she had a son his age nor the responsibilities she’d happily left behind.

‘Twice a year I visit.’

Short, stilted lunches which both of them endured rather than enjoyed. Although he’d made peace with her lack of maternal instincts long ago their relationship had never recovered from her treatment of Max. She’d been in no hurry to see either child again after she’d first left Maynet, and on more than one occasion Xavier had had to contact her to ensure she’d allow time for her younger pining child.

Which once again reinforced the importance of choosing a wife wisely. His father, blinded by love, had made a monumental mistake. Not only rocking an already uneasy treaty with his neighbouring country, love had led him to a woman unsuited to royal life and motherhood. And his father hadn’t seemed to care, he was in love and that trumped everything. Dread inched down Xavier’s spine. He was never going to fall into that trap, he knew that, then why did he feel tonight he needed to remind himself of that fact.

Looking over at Kat he couldn’t imagine her ever doing that to her child, to anyone. Standing here in the aftermath of another demanding day he struggled to remember why sharing confidences and getting to know her was so dangerous. Instead of making him feel uncomfortable it made him feel … lighter, less alone.

‘Do you miss her?’

Startled, he took a moment to realise she was asking about his mother while his thoughts had focused on her. About how much he was beginning to rely on her in a way he didn’t like to rely on anyone. How he was enjoying her company far more than he should, and that his feelings for her refused to be dampened and exceeded way beyond the boundaries of a sibling in-law relationship.

He inhaled and shifted his mind back to what was at stake and realised, with a sickening jolt, that despite all his best attempts his feelings for her had escalated, not abated and the more time he spent with her the stronger it got. He needed to leave and put some space between them instead he jammed his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from reaching for her, like he had last night. When that wasn’t enough, he curled them into fists remembering her words, his words, acknowledging that kiss had been a mistake, never to be repeated. He knew he’d agreed with that but now all he could think of was the taste of her, the feel of her.

He looked at her lips—full, soft and glistening with a touch of the red lipstick she’d worn all night that had somehow survived the long hours. It had distracted him far more than he cared to admit. Would it taste like berries? Like wine? Or the taste of her? Sweet and tantalising. He hardened, and instead focused on the gold glitz clock sitting in pride of place on the mantlepiece, almost midnight. Was that the problem? The late hour, the long day and lack of sleep all catching up with him?

He glanced back to say his long overdue goodbye catching a glimpse of raw longing across her face.

Longing for what?

Him?

His breath caught.

Hope, want, desire beat a frantic pace.

Or Max?

Everything stilled as horror rushed at him alongside a matching dose of frustration and exhaustion.

What was he doing trying to second guess that flash of something which could be anything. Now he could acknowledge what couldn’t be ignored, he didn’t have a clue as to what she was thinking.

‘It’s late,’ he said stating the obvious. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

He turned.

‘Wait!’

Chapter 10

Katerina saw his shoulders stiffen as he stopped.

Horrified she’d called out to him she wanted to clamp a hand over her mouth, but it was too late, he’d heard.