Page 65 of Sworn to the Shadow Throne

And I already knew my answer. My hands had gone very still in my lap. I hadn’t noticed until now that they’d been reaching for him. “I can’t go with you, Owain.”

The distance between us yawned open again. And even though I hated every agonizing twitch of my muscles, I stepped back from the edge of the chasm.

Chapter 19

Owain

My body reacted to Lunette’s rejection by opening a void in my chest that stole the air from my lungs. Cold dread invaded the space left behind, creeping into every limb. Even the edges of my perception dimmed, just as they had when I’d teetered on the brink of death.

My body was already mourning something my mind hadn’t yet accepted was lost.

But then I saw the way her face was etched with pain, her eyes clouded with hurt. And a restless feeling grew inside, pushing me. I had to try. I had to make her see why she should come with me.

Princes of Larethia kneeled to their king and queen and no one else. My body knew that in the way it knew how to breathe. Every instinct bred into me since boyhood resisted. But my knees hit the floor anyway, and I found I didn’t care at all.

Pride was a small thing to sacrifice. I’d have given considerably more. I was just beginning to understand how much.

“Please,” I said again, softer, the word slipping out of me in prayer. “Reconsider.”

Lunette’s gaze was fixed somewhere past my shoulder, on the cracked doorframe, on Muffin’s fallen perch crashed to the floor—on anything but my face. Her expression had gone very still, in the way a deer did just before bolting.

Still on my knees, I listed the benefits. “You wouldn’t be hidden. You wouldn’t be a secret. You would have a place of your own, protection, resources—”

Her lips pressed into a thin line. Her voice was calm. Too calm. “If your court decides I’m too different, then what?”

“That won’t happen,” I said firmly. Who could think she was anything but wonderful?

A red curl fell across her brow as her eyes narrowed. “You may be a prince, Owain, but you can’t promise that.”

Fuck. I was so enamored with her I wasn’t actually thinking.

She was right. I couldn’t. Not when half of them already thought the same to me. I faltered, but only for a heartbeat. “I can promise that I won’t change my mind about you.”

Somehow, I knew that down to the marrow of my bones. I would never get over this woman.

She still didn’t seem convinced of my sincerity.

“Gods know Nisien is charming,” I added, more carefully. I let out a faint huff, the sound carrying the weight of my many shortcomings in comparison. “If anyone can persuade a reluctant princess to wed, it’s him.”

I hoped that was true more than I’d ever hoped for anything.

Luna’s body tensed. The exact opposite of what I had hoped for.

I was already fucking this up. I took a chance and leaned my forehead lightly against her soft belly. When she closed her arms around me, it felt like everything might be okay. The rise and fall of her breath, her fingers threading through my hair, were a calming force like nothing else as I sought the perfect words to change her mind.

“I’m telling you there is a chance for us,” I said into her skirts, the raw words tumbling off my tongue before I could temper them, before I could protect myself. “I’ve done everything that’s ever been asked of me, Lunette. Everything. Even when it cost me pieces of myself, I did it.” My voice dropped. “You are the first thing I’ve ever asked for.”

The gentle movement of her fingers through my hair ceased for a fleeting moment. That abrupt silence felt like a definitive conclusion. I swallowed through an aching throat. It was like my body was trying to tell me I’d already said too much and not enough all at once.

She let out a long breath as I stood, trying to make myself smaller. Maybe if I didn’t dwarf her now, she might overlook our other differences and see how good we could be.

For one fragile moment, I thought I had her. I saw the pull, the raw pain that mirrored mine perfectly. It was agonizing to witness, yet it ignited a spark of hope in me where there was only dimness before.

Her eyes, shining with an unknown emotion, finally met mine. I stopped breathing. Hoping, waiting.

“I can’t, Owain.”

Everything fell still.