Page 310 of Coal Hearts

“Know what I think your greatest weakness is, Master H?” She shifted to her knees, her fury returning. “I think it’s love. I think you’ve wanted it for so long, you’ve forgotten what it truly means. Or maybe you never really knew. Either way, I think you believe that this”— she waved between us —“could somehow become love...if you stay faithful and guard me from other bad men. You’re ignoring the fact that you’ve destroyed my life, stolen me from my home, and collared me to you. You think by buying my body, you’ve bought my heart and soul, but the truth is...” She sighed and put her hand on my knee as if, even now, her sweetness and compassion didn’t want to hurt me. “The truth is that you will never be able to buy those. You will never be able to make me love you. You will never call me your wife because the only thing that we are is...enemies.”

I deserved that.

I did.

Yet I wasn’t prepared for the dagger stabbing through my ribs and puncturing everything vital inside me.

I grunted as if her words had the power to slaughter all the newness inside me—all the welcoming darkness—and shove me back into a loveless, lonely existence.

I might have feelings for her.

I might want to keep her.

I might hurt her and fuck her and have deep, dark urges.

But under no fucking circumstances would I let her ruin my one chance at happiness.

In the distance, a man strolled toward us. Suave and confident, long-legged and lean.

Victor.

Shit.

Rising from the grass, I sat back on the lounger and judged his stride. I guessed we had a couple of minutes before he arrived. A few more moments to talk freely before he reproached me on my behaviour.

I didn’t care that cameras probably eavesdropped and recorded us from the battlements. I wasn’t embarrassed for being honest. I didn’t care because I was past caring. But I did have something to say. Something Ily needed to hear.

“I appreciate you letting me know how you feel, so...allow me the same courtesy.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gathered my thoughts before dropping my hand and looking up. “Regardless of how you feel about me, the truth remains that I feel strongly for you. You’re right that I don’t know what love feels like. I’ve never been given it. No one seems to want it when I try to offer it. So perhaps I’m doing it all wrong.” I looked at my hands. “All I know is, I’m free in this place. Free on an island, locked in a fortress, when out there, in that loveless cold-hearted world, I was afraid, alone, and dying. The night I saw you was the first time in my life that I felt something in here.” I punched my chest. “I felt it as cleanly and as viciously as if you’d reached into my chest and signed your name on my heart. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. I don’t care if you think my version of love is toxic and wrong. I’m not even saying it is love. All I’m saying is...I want you. I want to keep you. And I want you to play along with me.”

Silence fell.

Victor came ever closer.

Ily shook her head, digesting what I said. Finally, she choked, “Even now? Even after everything you’ve done to me, you’re still asking me to play along with you?” Rage painted her cheeks bright red. “Are you deliberately trying to be cruel, or are you just that fucking clueless?”

“You played along so well with me before. It was us versus them. We were a team...a partnership.”

“So you could free us!”

“Yes, well...” I had nothing else to say on that matter. “I can’t describe how it felt to be connected to someone after being so alone. To have you. To hear you defend me and have you comfort me. I-I was more drunk on the fact that you were willing to trust me than I was fucking you the first time.”

She sucked in a thin breath.

“That’s not to say I didn’t lose myself the moment I sank inside you. Jesus Christ, the moment I entered you, my body became yours. I know you felt it was different between us. I know you did.” My voice turned dark. “You came in the shower this morning. You came so damn hard I can still feel you squeezing me. You gave me no choice but to shatter with you. So how do you explain that if you aren’t as aware of me as I am of you?”

Her chin tipped haughtily. “Why? Does it bother you that you can’t own my pleasure the way you thought you did? That you aren’t the master of my body just because you leashed me?”

“No, it bothers me that you’re not being honest.”

“Like you are?”

“Yes,” I snapped. “I will never hide myself from you. I will never keep things from you, and that’s why I’m—”

“Tell me, if you’re feeling so chatty all of a sudden...” She balled her hands. “If Victor tells you to cut off one of my fingers or my ear or even a hand...will you?”

“What? No, of course not.” I scowled. “Why would I rob your body of its parts when it’s your body that I want to rule?”

“Other Masters do. Or are you deliberately ignoring the fact that some jewels are missing pieces? Do you honestly not care that you’re abusing the very same people you promised to save?”