Page 74 of Only Be Mine

I considered my options.

A nap might help. Rest always helped, at least on the surface. I’d need energy for the rehearsal dinner tonight, need to be on. Polite. Gracious. Likable. Trevor’s parents were flying in this afternoon, and I was acutely aware that this was my final audition before I officially became their daughter-in-law.

Before I married Trevor.

Something shifted in my chest. Tightened.

I sat up so fast the room tilted, stars flashing behind my eyes.

Amy looked up immediately. “Cate?”

I swallowed. The thought wasn’t new, I’d circled it for years, carefully, silently, but I’d never said it out loud. Never let it take shape where someone else could hear it.

“What if John comes back?” I asked.

The room went very still.

I let out a breath that shook more than I meant it to. “I know how that sounds. I do. But…” I rubbed my hands together, suddenly cold. “How am I supposed to finish something when it never really ended?”

Amy didn’t answer right away.

“How do you move on,” I continued, voice quiet now, “when the last thing you shared was a fight? When the last time you saw him, you were angry and hurt and sure you’d fix it later?”

I laughed softly, bitter. “People don’t just disappear. They leave. Or they die. Or there’s an explanation.”

Amy shifted closer. “Cate…”

“I don’t even know which one I’m mourning,” I admitted. “The man I loved. The life I thought we were building. Or the version of myself who believed he’d come back.”

The words hung there, fragile and exposed.

“I love Trevor,” I said, because it felt like something I was supposed to say. “I do. And I know it took something special for him to stay. To wait. To stand by when I couldn’t give him all of myself.”

I closed my eyes.

“But what if I’m not choosing him,” I whispered, “so much as choosing the only future that didn’t disappear?”

Amy reached for my hand and held it tight.

And for the first time that day, I let myself admit the thing that scared me most:

I wasn’t afraid of marrying Trevor.

I was afraid of what it would mean if John never came back.

Chapter 27

Cate

May 10 - Ten years Ago

“Honey, I’m home!”

John’s voice carried through the house, bright and familiar, followed by the sound of rainwater splattering onto the tile. I was off the couch and moving before I fully registered it - muscle memory more than thought.

I launched myself into his arms as he stepped into the kitchen, a large brown paper bag hooked around one wrist, his jacket darkened with rain.

“I missed you,” I said, taking the bag from him and setting it on the counter. I slid my hands into his, tugging him closer like I needed to anchor him there.