The ring warmed beneath my skin, and for one disorienting second, I could smell him.
Cedar and clean cotton.
Not sharp. Not overpowering. Just steady. Familiar. Like coming home without realizing you’d been lost.
I want to keep choosing you. Every day. Even when it’s hard.
I smiled and pulled my hand back, curling my fingers into my palm. “I couldn’t get rid of it.” My throat tightened as I swallowed past the ache. “It felt like erasing him.”
A crease formed between her brows. “What does Trevor say about you wearing John’s ring around your neck?”
I shook my head. “He doesn’t know.” I hesitated, then added, “I think he’d understand. I just… don’t want to explain it.”
“But,” Amy said carefully, “he’s your fiancé. You shouldn’t be keeping secrets from him.”
I leaned back and huffed out a breath. “Seriously? You mean to tell me you’ve never kept anything from Jim?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
“Exactly,” I said gently. “It’s not like Trevor has anything to worry about. I think it’s pretty clear John’s not coming back.”
The words tasted wrong the moment I said them.
I twisted the ring around my finger, a nervous habit I’d never quite broken. With the wedding so close, memories kept surfacing uninvited - soft, insistent, impossible to shut out.
I loved Trevor.
But loving him had never erased the fact that I loved John too.
“Do you remember when I told you about us?” I asked quietly.
Amy nodded. “How could I forget? I’ve never seen Trevor so happy.”
“I meant John.”
Her expression shifted, subtle, but immediate.
I closed my fingers around the ring again, the metal pressing into my skin like a reminder. “He said we had time,” I murmured. “All the time we needed.”
The silence between us stretched.
Amy’s voice was gentle when she finally spoke. “Cate…”
“He believed it,” I said, staring down at my hand. “That there was no rush. No expiration date. That love didn’t have to be hurried or proven or protected from the clock.”
I swallowed hard.
“And maybe that’s why I still don’t know how to accept that he’s just… gone.”
Amy didn’t argue this time.
She just reached for my hand again and held it.
Chapter 21
Cate
November 1 - Eleven Years Ago