Page 188 of Only Be Mine

“I don’t know.”

His jaw flexed.

“Cate.”

“I know what it looks like.”

“It looks like exactly what I’ve been telling you for years.”

I flinched at that.

“Don’t,” I said quietly. “Don’t turn this into I told you so.”

“I’m not,” he said, but his voice was tight. “I’m trying to understand why you’re sitting here and not at the police station.”

Because I’m not sure.

Because I love him.

Because I still don’t believe he would hurt me.

I forced myself to say the last one out loud.

“I don’t believe he would hurt me.”

Seth leaned forward, lowering his voice. “That’s not the same as saying he didn’t hurt John.”

The distinction sliced clean through me.

I swallowed.

“He’s been there for me,” I said. “When you weren’t.”

It wasn’t fair.

I knew it the second it left my mouth.

Seth’s eyes flashed, but he didn’t rise to it.

“I left because every time I tried to be there,” he said evenly, “I felt like I was being replaced.”

I shook my head. “I need to think.”

“You need to not go back there.”

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes,” I said, sharper now. “I do.”

Because if I don’t, then what?

Then I’m running.

Then I’m admitting something I’m not ready to admit.

Seth looked like he wanted to argue. Instead, he asked, “Does he know you found it?”