Page 43 of Playboy’s Purgatory

When I’m shooed toward the kitchen, I don’t wait to be told twice. I might be slow about some things, and blind about others, but I know an opportunity when I see one.

When it comes to Lara, opportunities are few and far between. I’m not going to let one pass me by.

The moment I swing open the door to the kitchen, I stop completely. I don’t even dare move because the last thing I want to do is pop the bubble I’m being allowed to witness. “Buy Dirt” by Jonathan Davis and Luke Bryan is playing while Vanessa and Lara dance around and sing together.

It’s a scene that has me yearning to step deeper into the bakery kitchen and join them. The lyrics are all about making a life, building it into something strong, and putting in the work. A smile stretches across my face as they sing the chorus together, very off-key.

“Brownies were a good idea,” Vanessa giggles while doing some sort of shimmy dance that moves from her toes all the way to the tips of her fingers which she flings up in the air above her head.

“You know it,” Lara agrees, her words filled with amusement. “We’ll make the batter down here and then go put it in the oven upstairs so everything can be locked up.”

Vanessa sings along to a few more lines as the song comes to an end. She gets louder the more she gets into it. It’s fucking adorable.

The longer I watch Lara, the harder it is for me to understand how I could have believed all the shit Lola was whispering in my ear. She’s not manipulative. She’s not calculating. She’s not cold. She’s not spiteful and heartless.

She looks at Vanessa with eyes full of love and that feeling is reflected right back to her. Knowing the history between them, the kind of devotion Lara feels makes sense. It’s more than a mother’s love and responsibility.

It feels like I’m looking at the world clearly for the first time in far too long. Now every memory I have of the words Lola whispered to me makes me sick.

The pain comes when I remember how I took those whispered lies and turned them into weapons. All I did was hurt Lara while making myself look like a fool.

Vanessa was right to say Lola plays people like a marionette. My strings have been cut, and it makes me feel unmoored, pathetic, and useless.

I’m all messed up over how easily I believed Lola’s lies. I made it so damn easy for her to fool me.

Because I didn’t want to see the truth.

Because it was easier to not ask Lola the questions I should have asked from the start.

I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.

My fingers clench tighter around the bag handles. I’m frustrated with myself and I’m pissed that I can’t take it out on anyone.

This would be so much easier if I could just hit someone to work out the problem. One punch and done.

But no. I had to go and be an asshole, and now I have to make it right. The last thing that would help the situation is violence.

It’s a fucking shame.

Unable to stand it anymore, I step into the kitchen fully and let the door swing closed behind me. “It looks like you ladies are having a good time,” I drawl.

Lara screams while Vanessa jumps and spins around toward me. The moment Lara spins as well, she throws the egg in her hand, the one she was about to crack, right at my head. It lands with a vicious sound which surprises me more than hurts me.

The yolk and whites slide down the side of my face, bits of the shell going with it, as Lara’s mouth falls open. I’m not sure if she’s more surprised at seeing me in her kitchen or at the fact that she just threw an egg at my face.

“Do you know how much eggs cost right now? And you made me waste one on your face,” Lara gripes just as Vanessa dissolves into a mess of laughter.

The laughter is completely warranted. I’m not even sure what to do right now. I stand like a statue as gravity does what it does with the remnants of the egg.

Before I can make a move, Lara’s composure breaks and her laughter joins in with her daughter’s. As the sound wraps around me, I don’t mind being covered in egg very much at all. She can throw an entire dozen at me. As long as they keep laughing.

“I didn’t know I was going to be pelted by an egg,” I try to argue. “I was just bringing you ladies dinner.”

That has Vanessa perking up. Her eyes go down to the bags in my hands and light up.

“You brought us dinner?” Lara sounds shocked.

I hate that she’s so surprised. She deserves to be taken care of. Especially knowing just how much she gives to her daughter and everyone else who comes in contact with her.