Page 18 of Playboy’s Purgatory

Over and over again.

She was the one who least deserved it.

I run a hand over my face and force myself to look around the backyard. Rumble shoots me a look of disgust that I feel down to my toes before turning and mumbling the entire way back toward where drinks are set up.

There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll have plenty to say to me later.

I glance over to where I was sitting before I decided to stand up, walk across the yard, and put my foot so firmly in my mouth that I’m gagging around my toes. Whiskey has a scowl on his face and I’m sure he’s rethinking how far he digs into the past of the club whores and if he’s missed something with anyone else.

No one is happy about what just went down. I can see it on everyone’s face. Snake and Sidewinder are glaring at me, and I swear Opal is about two seconds from knocking me the fuck out. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. Diesel, who is usually thrilled when there is drama, even has judgement written all over his face.

Damn it.

My heart thuds in my chest when I look back to where Lara was standing just minutes ago. I’ve been a complete dick to her and I’m starting to realize just how wrong I was to treat her that way. She’s right about one thing—she did warn me. More than once.

I never heeded her words. I figured she was simply deflecting and playing her part. Now, I’m seeing it all differently.

And I’m pissed at myself.

Conversations start back up, but slowly this time. As people move around me, they give me a wide berth, as if I smell. Maybe I do.

The stench of wrongness. Of assholery. Of decay.

Because Lola spent so damn long rotting my mind and heart toward Lara. Now here I am, standing in the middle of a halo of lies.

Graycie hugs Vanessa a little tighter before releasing her slowly. The look she gives me would peel paint off a wall, but it’s not less than I deserve. Vera just lets out a long, belabored sigh, as if she knew it would one day come to this.

How did she know while I had no idea?

Why didn’t anyone stop me?

The other Old Ladies and Opal swarm around Vanessa and she soaks up their attention even though she keeps glancing in my direction. My stomach is in my throat as I take a step closer to her.

When her blue eyes, the same ones she shares with Lara and Lola, lock on me, my knees buckle slightly. She cocks her hip and her hand lands on it in a picture of pure attitude which has one side of my mouth twitching even though this isn’t the time.

“Are you going to ask if what my mom said is true?” She asks the question as if she already knows the answer.

The women around her still slightly. Vera leans closer, her voice going soft even as her eyes bore into mine with reproach, “I’ll happily take you inside, sweet pea, to wait for you mom. You don’t have to talk to him.”

Vanessa smiles at her. “Thank you, but it’s okay. I don’t have a problem talking to him.” She shrugs one of her shoulders, her tone flatter than it should be, “Lola loves manipulating people and she’s good at it.”

“I,” the word comes out scratchy from my dry throat, and I have to clear it and start again, “I’m sorry. I started it and your mom finished it like a boss, when I shouldn’t have made a scene at all.”

“No,” Vanessa nods like she expected my words, “you shouldn’t have. But you did. You’ve been making rude comments to Mom for a while now. She warned you,” it’s Vanessa talking, but it might as well be Lara with how similar they sound.

And she’s right.

I just never listened.

“She did,” I choke out the words. They feel like ash in my throat. “I’m sorry.”

Vanessa tilts her head slightly, her eyes assessing me the same way Lara’s did not long ago, measuring me and my worth and intentions. “Are you being nice to me because you want to impress Lola?”

Her question leaves me fucking speechless while Vera makes a sound like she’s choking on air. My eyebrows furrow and I barely get out, “What?”

I start to shake my head, but she just lets out a huff filled with annoyance. Vanessa goes on like she didn’t just turn my entire world upside down with a single question.

“I’m just going to let you know right now that if you think Lola will care about you being nice to me, then you’ve got it all wrong. She means nothing to me just like I mean nothing to her,” there’s no sadness in her voice and somehow that hits harder than anything else. “Lara is my mom; she always has been. Lola just happened to give birth to me, but I was always meant to find my mom.”