Page 118 of Sweet Redemption

We both smile, and I run the tip of my pointer finger over his lips. “Can I go first?”

“Always.” He grins, and I can’t be bothered by his innuendo because it’s always been true.

“We need to talk, Hendrix. Really talk and really listen. No more dancing around things.” He nods and kisses the tip of my finger softly, and my nerves settle just a little bit more. “No more throwing hurt in each other’s faces. If we’re going to move on, we need to actually move on.”

“I agree, and I need you to know how sorry I am. I heard what you said about saying no the other day, and baby, I’m so fucking sorry. I was so hurt and so angry, I never thought about why you said no. I was too busy focusing on the fact you said no.” He runs his fingers through my hair and tucks it behind my ear, tilting my face up, and I relax just a little bit more and listen. “I knew how important soccer was to you. I knew how hard you worked to get where you were. I wasn’t trying to change you or hold you back or say your career was any less important than mine. I saw you in pain and knew you were a five-hour flight away, and my brain went into problem-solving mode.”

“I didn’t want to be a problem to be solved,” I admit. “When I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared because I didn’t know how we’d ever balance it all. But I knew I wanted to try because that baby was a little piece of us. I would have given up my career for us, if that was what was right for us. Or I would have taken a year off, and we would have hired the best nanny in the world. But we would have figured it out together.”

I dig my fingers into the long hair at the back of his neck and close my eyes. “If you had said, I love you and can’t live without you. Marry me and we’ll figure this all out . . .” I open my eyes and stare into his. “I would have said yes.”

“I was so busy trying to fix everything, I fucked us up,” he says softly and rests his forehead against mine. “I felt like it was my fault. All of it. The pregnancy. The miscarriage. The fact I couldn’t be there when it happened. And fuck, the fact you didn’t want me there after. I⁠—”

“You were human, and we were so young, Hendrix. We both made mistakes.”

He rubs his thumb along my jaw and cups my face. “Can you forgive me?”

“For that night?” I ask as my stomach churns.

“For everything. Not just that night. I should have called you and told you everything about Britt. If I had, we could have worked it out. I still could have claimed Bodhi, but I could have done it with you knowing the truth. And we could have found a way to take care of Britt together.” He pulls back and presses his lips to my forehead. “I lost track of how many nights I lay in bed wondering what would have happened if I’d done that instead.”

“I used to do the same thing.” My fingers begin working the buttons on his shirt until I’m able to shove it off his shoulders and feel his bare skin against my hands. “Wonder if I could have done things differently. Said things differently. But we can’t go back and fix it now.”

“No, baby, we can’t.” He lays me down on the bed, then shucks his pants, leaving just his boxers on before climbing in behind me and dragging me back to him. One arm wraps around my chest, holding me reverently. “I can’t promise everything will be easy, but I can promise I will love you every day for the rest of our lives, Serena.”

I wrap my arm around his. “I don’t need easy. I just need you, Hendrix.”

“Can you promise me you’ll stop running before we get the chance to be good again?” He asks, softly, propping his head up on his hand, looking down on me. Waiting for an answer I’m scared to death to give.

“I promise to try,” I whisper back, praying it’s enough. “Can you promise me something?”

“Anything,” he sighs, his chest moving against my back and I let out a shaky breath. “One day, when we’re ready, will you ask me to marry you again?”

“The minute you tell me you’re ready, princess. It was always you, Serena and it will always be you.” He presses a kiss to my head. “You know in some cultures they believe in seven lifetimes. And in every life you find your person again and again and again.” His arms pull me impossibly closer until we’re breathing the same air. “I feel like we’re on our second lifetime. It’s not our first because I knew you were going to be my entire life way too early for it to be the first time I found you. But we still had our struggles, so I don’t think it was our sixth or seventh time at this. I figure by the time we hit six, things will be so easy we’ll meet and be married five months later and live disgustingly happy wedded bliss with our six kids and two dogs.”

“Hendrix . . .” I breathe out, barely above a whisper.

And when his mouth finds mine and I love you is whispered against my lips, I think I might just believe it too.

HENDRIX

Busy Bee or West End for lunch?

Dude, when did you start texting like Jamie?

What’s next? Me want food?

Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Maybe if you’d fix things with Serena, you wouldn’t wake up pissed and alone.

Seriously?

Sorry, man. Too soon?

Meet me at the Bee in an hour.

—Text from Ryker to Hendrix