Page 61 of The Royal in Room 3

My hands slowed. “That’s because he is. I take good care of him.”

“What about you? Are you happy?”

I adjusted the wrench around the final connection, turned back on the valve, then scooted out from under the sink. “You already know the answer, so why ask?”

“You’re in love with him.”

“Hmm.” I reached for the tap and turned the water back on. The pipes gave a brief shudder before the faucet ran steadily. I watched the connections for several seconds, checking for moisture.

Nothing.

“There,” I said. “All fixed.”

“And once again, I’m in your debt.”

“You give me a cold drink, and we’re even.”

“That I can do.” He grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge and gave it to me. “So are you ready to talk about why you freaked out on Soren’s first night at the club?”

I choked on the drink and developed a coughing fit. “You tricked me. I asked for just the drink.”

“Consider the rest as an advance for the next time we need your help.” He sat gracefully at the island and crossed his legs. “I’ve held back saying certain things before, but you have an actual good thing going with Soren, and I don’t want you to blow it.”

“And why am I going to blow it?” I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth.

“Because you don’t think you’ll be enough for him.”

For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

I stared at Phoenix, but the kitchen seemed to fall away around him. The hum of the refrigerator, the faint voices from elsewhere in the house, even the cold bottle in my hand became distant as I came face-to-face with the truth I had spent years refusing to name.

Because he was right.

“You could have had a relationship with many of the subs you’ve taken in,” he continued, as though unable to stop now that he’d opened the can of worms. “But because of what your ex did, you think that anyone you love will find you lacking and eventually leave you.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then tell me I’m wrong.”

I averted my head and inhaled deeply through my mouth. The empty bottle crumpled in my fist.

“So what if you’re right?” I said hoarsely. “Darren did the things he did because I didn’t make enough for him. I was making a lot more then than I do now. If not for my aunt, who willed me that house, I would never have been able to afford the place. I can teach a sub how to be independent and how to navigate the world, but after they’ve learned that, what else do I have to offer them?”

“Jude, you can’t actually believe that. You’re a great guy, and any sub would be lucky to have you.”

I chuckled humorlessly. “Want to know something, Phoenix? I strongly believe a sub should know how to survive in this world on their own. It gives them the bargaining power they need to avoid being taken advantage of. But at the same time, they deserve to be loved, pampered, and given the best things in life. Soren deserves the best things in life. His life has been incredibly hard.”

“So you’re thinking of letting him go even though everything you’re saying right now practically screams that you’re in love with him?”

“I don’t know. I should, but you’re right, Phoenix. With Soren, I’ve become a terrible Daddy. I’m even being selfish enough to want to keep him.”

“Well, maybe that’s what he wants too, and that should count for something. Soren’s not your ex.”

I nodded slowly. “Perhaps that’s so, but you’re a hypocrite as well, Phoenix.”

He glanced away from me, his jaw working. “I know. It’s easier to interfere with your life than mine. I just want to see you happy.”

“But don’t you deserve to be happy too?”