Page 54 of The Royal in Room 3

“Your father?”

My stomach churned when I realized what I’d disclosed. Martin studied me more closely, his gaze moving over my face, and the easy smile slowly disappeared.

“Wait a minute. I do recognize you. While there, I attended the official investiture of the late crown prince,” he said. “The king invited several major donors to the ceremony. You were younger and dressed differently, but you were standing with the royal family. My God, you’re one of the princes of Belvaria!”

Hearing him acknowledge who I used to be made my chest ache. It reminded me of everything I’d lost, and it was more than just the crown. Before that, I’d lost my mother at such an early age that I could no longer remember what she looked like. Then I’d lost two of my brothers at the same time.

“I am Prince Soren,” I said quietly. “The deposed crown prince.”

“Oh God, I didn’t know. I heard about the tragedy of your brothers. How are you getting along?”

I shrugged. “I’m making do, learning how to be a commoner. Thankfully, Phoenix took me in.”

“So that’s how you’re acquainted with him.”

“But he doesn’t know about my background, and I would appreciate it if it didn’t get out. Please. That life is behind me, so there’s no reason to bring it back up.”

“I understand.” He reached across the table and took up my hand. “But is there anything I can do for you? Do you have a place to stay? You are welcome to any of my residences while you are here in California.”

“Thank you, but I am fine.” I gave him an appreciative smile. “At first it was really hard, but I-I’ve met someone. He’s kind and wonderful, and I don’t want to leave him.”

“Ah, that’s too bad.” He tapped my nose with a knuckle. “The beautiful, kind boys are always taken. Your gentleman is a lucky man.”

“I’m the one lucky to have him.” I gently tugged my hand out of his.

“Don’t worry. I understand your boundaries, but I’m going to give you my card, and if you need anything, call me—even if it’s just to talk.” He took out his wallet, removed a card, and handed it to me. “You might be tempted to throw it away, but keep it. And just in case you get the wrong idea, this help is without conditions. Phoenix can vouch for me.”

I stared down at the card, gratitude warming my chest. I was tempted to give it back, but Martin was the only person I knew who remembered Belvaria as more than the country that had cast me out.

There was no one else to talk to about the things I missed, the things that would sound insignificant to anyone who had never been to Belvaria.

I missed the church bells ringing through the capital every morning. I missed the aunties setting up their stalls outside the palace gates, their headwraps bright as flowers as they argued over whose arrangements were freshest and who had raised their prices too high. I missed the old men gathered in the park with their dominoes, slapping tiles against the wooden tables. I missed the smell of warm mongoose bread from the bakeries on Easter, and in winter, the vendors selling peanut brittle on street corners, and the women leaving church on Sundays in the most extravagant hats and polished shoes, stopping to shake hands, trade gossip, and fuss over children who were not theirs but belonged to everyone anyway.

I missed hearing people speak the Belvarian language around me without having to explain my accent.

Belvaria had rejected me, but it was still home.

I slipped the card into my pocket and whispered “thank you” in Bel, the second language widely spoken in my home country, though English was our official language, and when he responded “you’re welcome” in kind, I almost cried.

18

JUDE

Seeing Soren smiling intimately at another man felt like someone had just hacked me in half with an axe. I’d thought that we’d been building a foundation for something more over the past two weeks, something that had the potential to be monumental between us. But the way he was looking at an older, wealthier version of me cast a shadow of doubt over everything.

I’d let him sleep in my bed. I kissed him and made love to him, something I’d never let happen between me and another sub before. I’d thought that meant something to him, but I was obviously wrong. Because I’d taken sex off the table for so many years, it was significant to me that I was sleeping with Soren, but that didn’t mean it was the same for him.

I’d been out as bisexual for long enough to know that of all the people I’d slept with, the men were always easier to hook up with. We had urges, and we satisfied them without the need for complicated emotions. Not that every man was wired that way, but it’d always been easier to find men for sex than women. Soren had been upfront about wanting to sleep with me from the very beginning, so maybe sex wasn’t that sacred to him.

He’d asked me not to show up at Club Halo, and I’d been mindful of his wishes even though I’d wanted to be there for his first night. I’d been watching a movie, trying not to keep track of the time until he returned home, when he’d sent me the message that he’d messed up. And since he’d given me no context to work with, the only option I’d had was to show up in person, which was exactly how I came to be in the VIP suite, staring at the boy I’d let in taking what looked to be a business card from another man.

The feeling of inadequacy I’d battled with my entire life came crashing in. After all, wasn’t that the true reason I’d never allowed myself to get romantically entangled with a sub? Eventually, they would find someone better and leave anyway. Someone wealthier, more outgoing, more connected. I was just a carpenter, and although I wasn’t hurting for money, there was still a limit to what I could offer any boy.

Without a word, I retreated before Soren could spot me. I hurried down the stairs and smacked into Phoenix.

“Jude? You’re leaving already? Did you speak to Soren?”

I grabbed his arm. “Don’t tell him I was here.”