Page 21 of The Royal in Room 3

He’d committed fraud and I, treason. We’d both paid dearly for it. How could I hold it against him since he’d done his time and genuinely seemed to have changed for the better?

“Jude, I⁠—”

“Not yet.” He cupped my cheek and stroked a calloused thumb over my skin. “I want you to spend the night thinking about it before you make your decision. Have a good evening, little prince. I hope you show up tomorrow. I’d love for the opportunity to help you become the boy I can see you were meant to be.”

7

JUDE

Only half an hour remained, and I still had no idea whether Soren would show up for our date at my place.

I’d punished myself all day for telling him about my prison record by pushing too hard in the workshop, where I was restoring an antique secretary desk that had belonged to the governor’s family for generations. By five, I’d repaired the warped drawer runners and removed a century’s worth of grime from the brass fittings. I’d only stopped when I’d nearly ruined a section of veneer because I was thinking about Soren instead of the work in front of me.

Now the sauce simmered on the stove, the meatballs were keeping warm in the oven, and a loaf of garlic bread waited beneath foil on the counter. Through the open doors at the back of the house, the ocean rolled steadily toward shore, waves breaking beyond the deck in long white lines. Usually, the sound settled me, but tonight it only marked the passing seconds.

I dried my hands on a dish towel and checked the clock again.

Twenty-eight minutes.

Plenty of time for him to still show up.

Fuck. Why had I told him about my past? Even thinking about that conversation made heat crawl up the back of my neck. I had cared for over a dozen subs before. I’d guided them, given them structure when they needed it, comforted them when life was too hard, and disciplined them when they got a little too sassy. And I had never told any of them about prison.

That history was mine alone, known only by a select few.

Phoenix, because he’d been there from the very moment I’d walked out of prison, providing a place for me to stay before Halo House started accepting angels. He’d just lost his husband, and we’d sustained each other for a while, becoming the best of friends while I found my footing.

And Vale, because he was a cop and his interest in Phoenix had motivated him to investigate me. He’d tried to use the information against me only for Phoenix to tell him he already knew about my history. For a long time, I’d hated Vale for bringing up my past, but that was mostly water under the bridge now.

And now Soren knew.

I still didn’t know why I’d told him. Maybe because he had looked at me with those big, wounded eyes like he expected me to fix whatever was wrong with his world. Maybe because a few nights before that I’d held him in my arms, my chest aching just listening to the heart-wrenching sobs that tore from him. Maybe because that night I’d lain in bed long past my usual bedtime, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about how easily he’d fitted against me and how much I wanted to be the one to put him back together again after watching him shatter.

For the first time, I hadn’t emphasized to a sub that our caregiver relationship would be platonic. I’d gone so far as to give him the loophole that all he had to do was consent. But then what? I would have sex with him? For some unknown reason, I’d taken a liking to him, but he was such a mess; the last thing he needed was sex to complicate things.

I lifted the lid from the sauce and stirred, though it didn’t need stirring. At least it gave me something to do so I didn’t keep checking my phone to see if I had a message from Phoenix informing me that Soren wouldn’t be coming tonight. If he didn’t show up…

Just the thought left me feeling such an inexplicable and profound loss. I barely knew him. I’d seen him all of three times already, and we’d only spoken that last time. Yet something in his posture, in the trembling lips, the high cheekbones, and terrified eyes, called to me in a way nothing ever had.

I was old enough to know what attraction was when it sat in my lap and nuzzled against my chest. Only years of self-control had kept me from chubbing up with him in my arms. But the pull I felt toward him was something more. Attraction, I could handle. Soren wouldn’t even be the first sub I’d taken in, whom I’d felt attracted to, but I’d never crossed the line.

It was important to me to keep things platonic, so I should be relieved if he didn’t show up because the boy had the potential to derail the efforts I’d made to keep Halo’s angels at arm’s length.

Screw this. I need to know if he’s coming or not.

I set the spoon down harder than necessary and picked up my phone. Since Soren didn’t have a personal phone—something I would have to get him if he became my boy—I had to call Phoenix. He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey, Jude. Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes. You?”

“Hold on a sec. Aaron just walked in.”

I tapped my fingers impatiently on the counter, barely stopping myself from whining that Vale could wait. All the cop would do was hang around Phoenix like his shadow without making his intentions clear anyway.

After a couple of minutes, Phoenix returned to the call. “Sorry about that. Soren was freaking out a bit, and Aaron stopped by to talk to him.”

Shit. It was all my fault.