Page 58 of Mountain Men’s Nanny

There was silence. I could hear Holly breathing on the other end of the line, so at least she was still there.

“Look, Brie, I know what happened was a lot for you. Everyone understands why you needed a break, but this is your career we’re talking about. You can’t give it all up to be a nanny in the middle of nowhere. That was not your dream,” Holly pleaded.

The plan had always been to go back refreshed. Get back into nursing and go back to my normal life. I still wanted that, but I also didn’t want to let go of this life. I was happy. I was discovering myself in ways I could never have dreamed of before. It felt like a waste to let it all go. Still, Holly had a point. Staying would waste years of studying, sleepless nights, and everything I had always thought was important.

“Look, I know you’re going through some kind of awakening right now, but you need to make a decision. Your job is safe, but it won’t wait forever. You need to choose what it is you want.” Holly was exhausted and disappointed. And hurt. I heard it bubble up in her words.

But to choose…

If she only knew how hard I’d been avoiding making a choice at all. This whole thing started because I didn’t want to choose.

I could tell she had hoped for something different. She wanted to hear that I had already packed my bags and planned the long trip back home. The truth was, I didn’t know if I wanted that.

I looked out the window of my quarters and saw Lexi running around in her boots. She threw snow up in the air and giggled as it fell back down on her. Gideon and Gunner threw snowballs at each other, and Tobias stood thoughtfully, drinking his coffee. I was being pulled between two worlds. One world was with Holly, pulling me back to a life I had spent years building, also the life that had almost crushed me. The other was right outside my window. It made me happy, but I didn’t know how long it could last.

“I have to go, Holly,” I sighed. “We’ll talk again soon, okay?”

“Mmm hmm,” Holly agreed. “Then maybe you can tell me what you’re actually getting up to out there.”

Usually, talking to Holly cleared my head and made my decisions easier, even if we didn’t always agree, but this time I hung up more confused than ever. I got dressed for a snow day and headed out.

I walked through the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. Gideon always made sure there was coffee waiting for me at the touch of a button if he wasn’t there to hand it to me himself. My mug, which no one else used, was right there.

I walked out with it in hand and just stood there watching the three men I had fallen in love with and the little girl who brought us all together.

Gunner ran up to me and almost knocked the coffee out of my hands and kissed me.

His lips were warm and soft, which almost made me swoon.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” he smiled. “We’re going to build a snowman.”

He was excited and happy, and he made me feel it, too. All three of them made me feel different things I didn’t realize I wanted to feel. Things I could never get from just one man. It worked, it was working, and the way we came together the other night proved that, but it could only work here, where nothing anyone else thought mattered.

“What are you thinking about?” Gunner asked, draping his arm over my shoulder.

“Us,” I smiled. “This life.”

He smiled as the memories flashed through his mind. “What about us and this life?”

I looked at him, wanting to see his eyes gauge whether he was answering me honestly. “It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

Gunner nodded, “Yep. That’s one of the words I’d use.”

“Am I crazy for wanting it?” I prodded. It was so easy to talk to him. Everything was simple for Gunner.

“You mean crazy for sleeping with three men and living with all of them in a quadrangular relationship?” He laughed. “Insane!”

I cocked my head, prompting him to say more, to really tell me what he thought.

“But we all want it too, so I guess we’re as crazy as you are. It’s why we love you.” He snaked his arm through mine and led me forward. “Come on, let’s go build that snowman.”

28

The First Christmas

~

Gideon