Page 18 of Tell Me It’s Forever

“Genevieve!” She’s huddled on the couch, swallowed by a massive, knitted afghan-style blanket. Tears silently cascade down her pale, red-stained face. The sight breaks the last piece of will I have.

“Gavin, please. You shouldn’t be here.” Her voice is raw and broken. She shakes her head frantically, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“Like hell I shouldn’t.” I kick the door shut behind me and stride through her place and into the living room, needing to be close to her.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs, voice cracking as she pushes herself into the cushions, trying to make herself smaller. “I’m so, so sorry I came between the two of you. He’s your son, Gavin. I can’t do this. I just can’t. I finally feel like I’m returning back to my normal self, and I can’t be the reason you lose your family. I can’t…” She trails off, closing her eyes, head tipping back in an effort to contain her emotions.

“Stop it right there.” My voice is firm and uncompromising yet soft as I stop in front of her, dropping to my knees near the couch. I grab her trembling hands through the blanket. “Please stop talking like that. This is not over, Genevieve, and you and I are sure as hell not through.”

“Gavin, he’s your blood.”

“Listen to me.” I wait until her beautiful green eyes look at me. “You need to understand what Byce actually is to me. I didn’t raise him. I didn’t even know he existed until he was a teenager. His mother and I had a single one-night stand years ago. She tracked me down when Bryce was seventeen because he was getting in trouble and she needed money.” Genevieve blinks, her breath catching as she listens, the shock temporarily stopping her tears. “Ever since then, I’ve tried to be a father to him, tried to teach him right from wrong, how to be a man. Only to become a revolving door for whenever he wants cash.” Bitterness turns my stomach. “I felt guilty for not being there, so I made sure he had a place to live, a car to drive, and his living expenses, water, power, and insurance paid for. Do you know why he came to my house this morning? Because he stopped by my office earlier this week asking for another handout, and I turned him down. I’m not financing some cockamamie scheme.”

“Gavin.” She swallows, looking away.

“None if it matters, though.” I press on, cupping her face in my hands, forcing her eyes back to mine. “I would give up every single dollar, every piece of property, and all of the money in the world if it meant shielding you from him. I don’t give a damn about a relationship with him if he’s capable of hurting you. But I need you to talk to me, baby girl. I need to know what happened between you two.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past.” She stiffens under my hands, her lips pressing into a tight, stubborn line as she shakes her head, attempting to pull away from me.

“It does matter,” I insist, frustration lacing in my tone. “He talked about you like he owned you, like he had the right to break you. What did he do to you, Genevieve?”

“I’m not going into the details, Gavin. It’s ugly, and it’s over.” She refuses to budge.

“It’s not over if it’s still making you run away from me, in the morning, in nothing but my shirt. Any piece of shit could have harmed you.” I’m struggling with the guilt of not going after her right then and there. That’s on me, and I’ll apologize to her for my part in this fiasco. I stand up, unable to stay still, and begin pacing back and forth in the living room. My hands rake through my hair as I move to the window to look out at the street, my jaw clenches tightly enough to grind down my molars.

“How am I supposed to protect you if you won’t tell me? How am I supposed to fix this if you keep me locked out?” Her eyes track me, her hands coming out of the blanket, landing on her lap. She lets out a long, shuddering breath, and her shoulder sag.

“Alex told me to give you the benefit of the doubt.” Her voice is soft and quiet in the tension-heavy room. “She told me on the drive over that you aren’t him and I should let you explain. But, Gavin, I don’t want to drag your son through the dirt to you. He’s still your blood, no matter how it started, and I won’t be the woman who spits hatred about a man’s child.”

“She’s right, and I’m forever grateful you have her in your corner and that Dante let me know that you were safe.” Alex picked up my slack, and Dante told me she was here, so I didn’t have to search the streets or stop at every bookstore in a ten-block radius. Genevieve doesn’t have just one favorite store. She has many and refuses to frequent the bigger well-known chain to find her next romance novel.

“I have really good friends.” I nod in agreement.

“I want everything, Genevieve.” I move to take a seat on the couch, my hand engulfing hers. I bring it to my lips and hold it there for a moment. “I want every dirty, ugly, rot-filled detail of what he did to you. I want to know every word he used to make you feel small, every lie he fed to you, and every mark her left on your confidence. I’m not protecting him. I’m protecting you. And until you let it all out between us, I’m not leaving this room.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

gennie

“Ireally do not want to talk about Bryce, but since you insist, here goes nothing.” The words tumble past my lips in a shaky, breathless rush. I pull my knees into my chest, my insides trembling as I begin to rock slowly back and forth on the couch in an attempt to self-soothe. The anxiety is a living, breathing weight in my throat, and in a burst of agitated energy, I throw off the blanket I knit on a whim to find a new hobby. It’s not at all even, longer than it is wide, and an array of small to bigger holes. Who knew counting is necessary when it comes to knitting?

I suddenly feel suffocated by the heat, only to freeze and panic at the vulnerability and immediately wrap myself up again. It’s like when you’re a child and you refuse to sleep with one leg out in case a monster comes to attack you, not at all rational thinking, but that’s how it feels right about now.

I’m still in Gavin’s gray shirt. I didn’t want to change, didn’t want to lose his scent or the comfort of how it makes me feel being surrounded by it. If our relationship was over, at least I got to keep this one thing of his. After Alex dropped me off, I had the forethought to clean the dirt and gravel from my bare feet before pulling on a thick pair of wool socks. The mug of hot chamomile tea Alex lovingly made for me sits completely forgotten and abandoned, growing cold on the scuffed-up wood coffee table.

“Take your time, baby girl. We’ve got all the time in the world.” Gavin moves in front of me, using the table as a seat. His massive frame still manages to tower over my curled form, gray eyes burning with an intense, unwavering focus. He reaches out and places his warm hands gently on my knees, through the blanket, grounding me.

“He, umm… he talked about my body. A lot,” I start, my voice cracking as the memories come to the forefront of my mind after trying to bury them six foot deep in the ground. I look at my hands, unable to meet his gaze as the confession begins to pour out of me. “It was constant, every single day. He told me I wasn’t thin enough. He made me feel like I wasn’t enough in any capacity, as if I was lucky he was even looking at me. He picked apart what I ate, what I wore, how my clothes fit, and even how my nose was constantly in a book.” A low rumble vibrates in Gavin’s chest, but he keeps his hands soft on my legs, letting me speak my piece.

“And the absolute irony of it all,” I say, a bitter laugh escaping me, “is that meanwhile, he couldn’t even keep a job. He’d sit on my couch while I’d work, ask for money, living off me, while picking me apart piece by piece. God, I was so stupid for letting him into my life for as long as I did. It’s not like I loved him. I’m not sure I even liked him, to be honest. He was just there.”

“You weren’t and you aren’t stupid,” Gavin rasps, his thumb stroking me. “You’re kind, Genevieve. He took advantage of your good heart.”

“I have my friends,” I continue, the words spilling out in a desperate ramble. “I knew they didn’t like him. Alex hated his guts from day one, and everyone else kept hinting that I deserved better. Looking back, I know I did, but I was deep in some mystical fog, where you think you can change a man. That’s on me. It took me realizing it on my own to finally kick him to the curb, and because I’ve always been a naturally curvy woman, it wasn’t until I noticed my own drastic weight change that realization hit. I looked in the mirror and saw how thin, pale, and sickly I looked from the stress of trying to please him. The lightbulb finally went off after that.” I take a shuddering breath, my fingers clutching at the fabric of my shirt.

“After I kicked him out, I slowly gained back my curves,” I admit softly, looking at Gavin. A myriad of emotions is written on his face: anger, sadness, and awe. “I got healthy again. Still, I shielded my body from the outside world. I didn’t want anyone to see me or have an opinion on my figure. I started wearing loose, baggy clothes, like the ones you saw me in the office.” I take a deep breath before finishing. “I didn’t want to be seen just for my body to anyone ever again. And when I saw him today…” My voice trails off as tears well in my eyes again. “Gavin, when I saw him standing on your porch, it wasn’t his rude remarks that made me run.”

“Then what was it, baby girl?” He leans in closer, wiping a stray tear off my cheek. Through all of this, he’s remained patient, stayed quiet, and let me get it all out.