Page 31 of The Shadow Sanctum

He doesn’t flinch as I open the cell, doesn’t even stir as my shadow cuts his face in half. It’s only when his half-hooded eyes roll up that he looks like a man with life left to live.

“Your Grace,” he croaks with a burst of energy that gives his neck enough strength to pick his head up. When he shifts, the chain rattles violently.

I crouch in front of him and place my hand on his—thankfully clothed—knee. His shirt has been ripped beyond use. “Be still, my friend.”

I go to take off my coat but pause at the pain that fractures his voice.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes clench shut, nose wrinkling. “I’m so sorry, Your Grace. I failed you.”

“No.” I lean forward. “You did not fail me. I failed you. I should’ve made your path seamless, and instead⁠—”

“The girl fell in a pit.” He opens his eyes with a shaky exhale. “I tried to get her to calm down, but a spear pierced her leg, and she just kept screaming.”

You should’ve abandoned her.

You should’ve killed her. Found a large rock and hurled it at her head.

You are one of mine. She is nothing.

Speaking this would help nothing, but a scream is held behind my teeth. It lies so heavily on my throat, I struggle for breath.

“Aiden, listen carefully,” I whisper past the pressure. “This is my fault. I let my weakness for Sawyer Hansley influence my decision-making.” I wheeze in a breath that isn’t deep enough for what I’m about to admit, both to Aiden and to myself. “I knew if I killed either girl, he would think of me differently. I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to forgive me, and because of that, I betrayed my own people and sentenced a worthy Keeper, a cherished mate, a loving father, and my friend to death. Do not apologize to me. I’m not worthy of your loyalty nor your forgiveness.”

I bow my head for him and lean forward on my knees, palms pressing into the dirt floor.

“Head Keeper…”

I flinch. My fingertips start to numb, and I press them more firmly against the unforgiving earth. A punishment of sorts.

I can’t help but think about Liberty. And how I should’ve had her killed. And how I should still have her killed.

That should be my very last order. My last attempt to do right by my people. Liberty being free is asking for trouble, whether that be the police, her husband, or others.

And yet…

I swallow, my eyes closing. “While I do not ask for your forgiveness, I want you to know I’ll be requesting that the Chief Elder allow my final words to echo throughout the Shadow Sanctum. I’m going to use them to proclaim your innocence. Everyone will know you died because of your unshakable loyalty and unflinching determination to do what you feel is right. Some may find you to be a traitor, but those who hear me will know you were the ultimate warrior willing to die for even an unworthy leader.”

“They’re executing you too?” Aiden asks, his voice low. Afraid. “But… how do they know you were involved? I told them nothing, Your Grace. I said…” Aiden groans as the chain rattles. “I said the girl and I were in love. That we were escaping together.”

I raise my head only to be struck with another wave of guilt as I face his desperation. Still loyal to a fault. To the wrong person.

“How do they know?” With the way the wrinkles smooth from his dirty, bruised face, I suspect he knows the answer. So I don’t give it. “You told them, didn’t you?”

“Not yet. I’ll be speaking to the Chief Elder once I leave you.”

“Don’t.” He hauls himself up by the chains, straightening his back. “I don’t care what you think you’ve done. You can’t tell him.”

“I have to," I frown. “I’m a traitor, Aiden. I won’t be able to live with myself if⁠—”

“Stop it,” he snaps. More forcefully than I’ve ever heard him. I rear back. “Just stop it. You’re being weak.”

My eyes widen and cold suddenly nips at my cheeks. It’s as if he struck me.

“It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Our people need you, and if you seriously think dying is the way to serve them, you’re not the leader I thought you were.”

My eyes narrow. “I’ve proven myself unworthy. Don’t you see that? How can I ever ask for respect? For trust?”

Aiden scoffs, his head falling back with exhaustion. “Great leaders don’t ask for it, Luna… They just accept it when it’s given.”