Page 191 of Merciless Daddy

The sun had left my skin tender. His palms moved slowly from the base of my neck down across my shoulder blades. I let my head fall forward.

“Oh.”

“Too much?”

“No.” I closed my eyes. “Very good. The right amount. Perfect. Just like everything you do.”

He worked the tightness from my muscles with patient pressure. I colored while he touched me. The firebird on the page became red, gold, and blue. Its wings spread above a dark sea.

Every few minutes, Sal held a piece of mango to my mouth.

“Open.”

“You are enjoying this way too much.”

“Probably.”

I took the fruit from his fingers. Sweet juice ran over my tongue.

The night grew warmer. Crickets moved through the gardens. Somewhere below, waves folded against shore.

“I still think about surrendering,” I said.

His hands stopped. I looked at the page.

“Whenever somebody gets hurt,” I continued. “Whenever a guard is shot or a restaurant burns or Kiryl is scared. My mind goes there before I can stop it. I can’t help it.”

Sal’s hands rested quietly on my shoulders.

“You do not have to promise me you will never think it.”

I turned around to face him.

“What if we add a rule?”

His brows drew together.

“To the agreement,” I said. “Not one where I need permission to make decisions. I don’t want that.”

“You won’t have it.”

“But when I believe giving myself up is the only solution, I tell Daddy before I do anything.”

Sal looked at me for a long time.

“Why?” he asked quietly.

“Because fear makes me alone.” My fingers tightened around the pencil. “And when I’m alone with it, I start calling self-destruction strategy.”

His face changed. Deeply. His hand came up and cupped my cheek.

“That is a very wise rule.”

“I hate that I need it.”

“No, sweet one. Everyone needs someone when fear lies to them.”

He brought the agreement from inside. We sat at the veranda table under the small gold lamp while he wrote the addition in his careful hand.