Page 26 of Bond of Passion

For one thing, he needed solitude. The little cottage on the rugged western coast of Ireland was his haven. No one lived close enough to bother him, and while the thousands-of-years-old Harrowgate that sat on the very edge of his property wasn’t private, it was rarely used. He’d set up wards to alert him when it activated, but in the fifteen years he’d owned the house, the Harrowgate had activated only four times for people other than him or friends and family.

He also liked cold, miserable weather. It kept away the riffraff. It was great for sleeping. And there were fewer bugs. He hated bugs.

It was nine at night, but the June twilight lasted forever, and if not for the mist, he’d be able to see all the way to the ocean. Rolling green hills disappeared into the gray fog, but his stone cottage sat like a gem at the center of a ring of hedges. Blue and white flowers dotted the countryside, stirring in the gentle ocean breeze.

Home.

Before he went home though, he checked his wards.

“Thalishni.”

Instantly, the arced row of invisible wards lit up in twinkling scarlet lights, letting him know they’d been triggered. The flaw in the system, however, was that every time the Harrowgate activated for him to step out, it set off the wards. Meaning someone could have entered or exited the gate while he was away.

Chances were that no one had, given how little the gate was used. But he had a lot of enemies, so he still kept an eye out for intruders as he reset the wards with a command and then headed toward his house.

The short walk in borrowed hospital scrubs gave him a chance to test his mostly-healed body, which was weaker than he’d like. He wasn’t in pain, but he was sore in places, mainly his back and ribs. And his muscles felt rubbery, like he’d been treading water for days.

It was going to feel awesome to sleep in his own bed. Between that and a couple of hearty Irish meals at his favorite pub in town, he’d be good as new.

He just needed to get a sexual partner soon. The libido suppressant Eidolon gave him before he left wouldn’t last long, and the more you took, the less effective it became. E had indicated that Tavin was down to maybe one remaining dose. That said, Deja would be joining him in the morning, and he had high hopes of getting that slinky female into bed. If not, he could have one of several on-call partners over within minutes of a brief text.

I don’t want any of them. I want Deja.

Shit. He really did want her, and he wasn’t even sure why. She was a hot mess of signals. One minute flirty and coy, and the next, angry and snarky. She went from hot to cold faster than a tempestus demon could freeze you solid with a touch and then cook you with its fire breath.

And Tavin was here for it.

It felt good to be enamored with a female again. He’d spent the last twelve years in mourning, so wracked by guilt that he wouldn’t let himself get close to a female. His biology demanded sex, so it wasn’t like he didn’t get close to females. But they were friends—friends with benefits—or no-frills-no-commitment casual partners. He hadn’t wanted anything more than that.

Until now.

You don’t want her like that. It’s a fleeting crush. That’s all. You don’t deserve anything more. Take her, get your fill, and let her go.

The voice in his head was probably right.

He needed to maintain emotional distance. Keep shit physical.

Definitely.

As he made his way along the stony path to his house, he sought the cold void that had swallowed his heart back in his assassin days. He’d been a killer. Focused, clear-headed. Icy.

Until Gristlen.

Shut up!

He shoved her name away with practiced ruthlessness. He could think about something else.

Like Deja.

No!

Just like thoughts of Gristlen, he buried thoughts of Deja. He didn’t need anyone. He wasn’t ready for anyone.

And he may never be. He had to pay for his past, and that might take more than one lifetime.

He could practically hear his mothers telling him and his brothers, in unison, “Karma is real. It won’t always visit itself upon you in your current life, but you will learn your lesson in future lives. And because you are a demon, Karma will hit you back ten times harder and for ten times longer than it would if you were human.”

Great. Terrific. For once, he envied humans their short, fragile lives. If they had a shitty one, well, they only had about eighty years of misery. Then they died, spent some time being happy in Heaven, and were born again to start all over and do it right. Maybe deal with some Karma from the previous life where they murdered, raped, scammed, or kicked puppies.