Page 108 of The Challenge

“Thank you, Phil. Means a lot.”

Despite the mistakes Phil had made in recent years, I’d always looked up to him. He’d been the only father I’d ever had at a time in my life when I’d needed one most.

I sensed that I needed to get back to Chloe. But when I looked over at the receiving line this time, she was nowhere to be found.

“Excuse me, Phil,” I said, leaving my spot to search for her. Maybe she’d just gone to the bathroom.

After several minutes passed, I knocked on the bathroom door. No one was in there. Wandering from room to room in the funeral home, I came up empty. As a last resort, I left the building and found Chloe alone in the parking lot.

Her face was red, and her chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath. Fuck. I knew that look. She was having a panic attack. When she noticed me approaching, she ran over.

“Come here, baby.” I took her in my arms and held her close. “It’s gonna be okay. Just breathe.”

The air caught in her throat. “I felt like I was ready to die in there.”

I kissed her head. “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“You were talking to my dad, and I didn’t want him to see me like this.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I haven’t had one of these since I was a teenager.” Her breaths were shallow. “I mean, I’ve felt them coming on, but I’ve always been able to control them—thanks to you.”

Years back, I’d caught her in the middle of one and helped her work through it. I’d suffered panic attacks myself that had come on when my mother was sick. I’d taught Chloe that the only way around an attack was to push through the anxiety rather than run away from it. Let it do its worst without fighting it. Then it always passed.

“You’ve been fine most of the day. Did something specific bring it on?” I asked.

“They asked me if I wanted to do a eulogy, and I haven’t prepared anything. Not sure why I wasn’t thinking of that. I felt like a horrible person telling the funeral director that I hadn’t planned to speak. But you know how it is, it’s never one thing. I think it’s been slowly building all day until I couldn’t breathe anymore.”

“You don’t owe these people anything. You were there for Judy more than anyone. Any speech now is just for show, for other people’s benefit.”

Chloe clung to me. “Will you stay out here with me for a few minutes?”

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

“Thank you for holding my hand through this day.”

“It’s my honor, Chloe.”

After a few minutes, she’d calmed down enough to want to return. A little while later, Fawn ended up going to the small podium and saying a few words about their mother, which was the least she could’ve done, in my opinion.

By the time the wake ended, Chloe was spent. She rested her head against the passenger seat of my truck as we headed back to my rental home. I’d given her a choice as to whether she wanted to continue staying at the big house, but she’d said she preferred to stay with me tonight. Effie would be sleeping at Drew’s. I didn’t know what Chloe’s plan would be now that her mom was gone. No one had been expecting Judy to pass when she did, despite how much worse things had gotten in the weeks before.

Chloe put her feet up on my coffee table when we got home, and I let her decompress for a bit while I made waffles for dinner—her request. I brought them over to the couch so she could keep her feet elevated. Then I got my plate and sat beside her.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“For what? You don’t need to thank me.”

“For everything. For giving me a safe place to stay while I was going through the most difficult time of my life, for showing me how a true man operates, for standing by my side today.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

She took a bite of waffle. “Right before I had the panic attack, I noticed you talking to my dad. What did he say?”

“He thanked me for having your back. He expressed regret over how things have played out, but he also said how grateful he was for the time the three of you have spent together over the past week.”

She nodded. “I think I’m going to the storage unit for the entire day tomorrow. I really just need to be done with that mess.”