Page 103 of Haven

Rory looked at me, frowning as I explained, “That’s Halcion and GHB. Triazolam is used to help insomnia and I don’t think I have to tell you what GHB is.”

“Why were they in my system? Cinder said there were no drugs in my system when she found me. Why did she lie to me and to everyone else?”

There were a lot of things I was starting to question about what Cinder was doing. “I don’t know, mariposa, but it might explain the memory fatigue and patches.”

Eighty-Five

Cinder

My body was giving up.

The pain became distant instead of loud, and the fight was quieter now. Pain and misery that once riddled my body were now dull phantom pains, pulling me into a dark abyss. And now it was time to embrace it.

I never expected this would be the way I went. In my final days, I expected to be surrounded by family, by the people I loved and those who loved me. I knew I made mistakes, but I thought I had time to fix the damage I’d done. Time was not on my side.

Rory.

Her laugh hit me hard. Every little thing echoed through my mind like a final goodbye. I was supposed to protect her, shield her from the worst parts of the world and take the blunt force she couldn’t endure. In a way I did, but he would still get her. She was stronger than I, braver than me, too. I could never compare to the woman or the survivor Rory was.

I failed her, and this was my punishment. I’d never get to say goodbye or tell her how proud of her I was. My friends, my family, and the woman I was too scared to love, would never know how much they meant to me.

I hope she knows I fought. I tried to come home to her, but everything was too much—he was too much. Control was the one thing I thought I was good at, but I failed at that, too. I’d never been in control of this situation, even when I thought I was two steps ahead of the game. He was a foot in front of me. He knew my every move. He was waiting for me, and the secrets I kept finally took over. While I thought I was tracking him, he was stalking me. He was playing me for a fool.

They were smart though. The Vipers would uncover everything, and my death wouldn’t be in vain. They would find him, and Rory would have closure. I would see it from a different angle, but it was time.

I think of them.

Melisa…the one person I never imagined I would drag into this or attach myself to. The ways she looked at me should have been criminal, but it was real. It was real for me, too. I hoped she knew it.

I hoped Vesper started to write again. Grief was her encouragement, and her music was beautiful. She was always hard on herself, never letting herself heal and move on.

Widow…my best friend. I wished I could tell her I was a bitch to her face, but she’d read it soon. She was there for everything, and I denied her happiness because I was selfish. I wished I could take everything back, but there were only so many things a dead woman could wish for.

Rory…God, I hoped she fought. I knew she was tired of fighting, but I needed her to survive without me. I promised to be with her forever, but it was a promise I broke. I wanted her to know how proud I was of her and the warrior she’d become.

The door slammed open, and my head lolled to the side as the figure's face came into view. He was blurry. He told me his master plan, but my mind was hazy.

“I have parts to deliver,” he beamed as silver caught my eye.

I love you, Rory…

Eighty-Six

Rory

Ifinished wiping the light-pink chrome of Pink Pearl with a satisfied grin. Nothing would beat Pink Betty, but my new baby was a close second. The extra tattooing this week made me more than enough to put a deposit on this bike. It would feel odd at first, but I knew I would get the hang of things again and it would be like riding a tricycle.

I took a selfie with my bike and sent it to Hades. I knew I would see her in a few days, but I missed her. After Vesper showed me the news articles, I didn’t spiral like I thought I would. I did need several sessions with Izzy to process everything. The main thing I couldn’t process was why Cinder was looking into this and didn't tell me. She questioned me about someone being with me, but she knew the whole time? Did she want me to remember?

I needed to remember so I could find her, but nothing was triggering a reaction. I was going to make a mistake, but I needed to see him in person, and maybe that would do something. If I mentioned this to Hades or Vesper, they would have a stroke. If Cinder was alive, he was tormenting her and I needed to do something other than wait for my mind to stop protecting me.

The tone felt off in the clubhouse, like everyone but me knew something I wasn’t privy to. It was something I would deal with later. I was a class-A sleuth and would break into Widow’s office to find out what she was hiding. Everyone here thought I was going to break. What they didn’t know was I already had, now I wanted to move on and get this over with. I wanted my life back without someone trying to take it away from me. If I didn’t choose to take my life, no one else was going to get the chance.

Before I went to the tattoo shop, I had a lunch date with my best girl. Babs was staying with Cass and her guys in Crestview. They were all excited for the baby, and I was ready to be an auntie. I wanted her to have a little girl, but I could spoil a little boy regardless. I might not want to be a mom, but I would be the best auntie.

I pulled up to Groovy Griddle, a seventies themed diner that was mine and Babs’ favorite place to go. My bestie was waiting for me outside so she could look at my new bike. She didn’t ride, but she loved admiring them. With three bikers as partners, she might’ve changed her viewpoint, if it weren't for the little bean inside her that could turn her into a minivan mom.

I stopped and removed my helmet, straddling my bike. Babs looked like a kid in a candy store when she crouched, or attempted to, to admire the light-pink chrome. “Babe, you’re already waddling like a penguin.”