Page 204 of Puck Me Back to Life

“Hurting me.”

Sonia nods slowly. “That seems likely.” She folds one leg beneath herself. “Kai, from everything you've told me, Ash cares very deeply about you.”

I smile before I can stop myself. “Yeah.”

“He also discovered something frightening about someone he loves.”

The word loves still catches me off guard.

“He probably feels a tremendous amount of responsibility.”

I look toward the window. “He does.”

“And responsibility often makes people become overly careful.”

I nod.

“He's trying to protect you.”

“I know.”

“But protecting someone can accidentally become distancing them.”

The sentence lands somewhere deep inside my chest. “I hadn't thought about it like that.”

“What would you like instead?”

I don't even have to think. “I want him to stop looking at me like he's waiting for another breakdown.”

“What could you do to help him feel safer?”

I blink. “Me?”

She smiles. “Relationships aren't one-way streets.”

“I know.”

“You're asking Ash to trust that you're healing. Maybe he also needs to see you trust yourself.”

I sit quietly.

“You don't have to wait for him to lead every conversation. You don't have to wait for him to initiate affection.” A tiny smile appears. “Perhaps it's your turn.”

I laugh softly. “You make that sound easy.”

“I didn't say easy.”

She glances down at her notebook before looking back up. “I have another question.”

I nod.

“Have you watched the video yet?”

The smile disappears. I know exactly which video she means.

“No.”

“Why not?”