Page 193 of Puck Me Back to Life

Kai manages the smallest smile. “I will.”

Coach's expression softens.

He claps Kai once on the shoulder before looking at me. “Take care of him.”

“I will.”

“I know you will.”

He leaves us alone. For a moment, neither of us speaks. The silence isn't hostile anymore. It's simply tired.

I stand and pick up Kai's equipment bag before he can reach for it. “I can carry⁠—”

“I know.”

I sling it over my shoulder anyway. He doesn't argue. That worries me almost as much as everything else.

The walk to the parking lot feels awkward. Usually, Kai fills silence by pointing out random things.

Buildings. Clouds. Books he wants to buy.

Tonight, he simply walks beside me. Close enough that our shoulders brush once. He doesn't move away. I unlock the truck. He climbs into the passenger seat without a word. By the time I start the engine, his head is already resting against the window. The city slips past us in silence.

Streetlights paint brief bands of gold across his face before disappearing into darkness again.

About ten minutes into the drive, his voice barely rises above a whisper.

“Ash?”

“Mhm?”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?” I glance toward him.

His eyes remain fixed on the windshield.

“For everything.” The words come slowly. “For pushing you. For yelling. For saying those things.” He swallows. “I didn't mean them.”

My fingers tighten around the steering wheel. “It's alright.”

“No.” His voice cracks. “It isn't.”

I shake my head. “Kai.”

“I'm serious.” He finally looks at me. “I scared you. I used you. Only at first but still. I was using you like a drug to forget everything and I—” he hiccups. “Worst of all, I scared you. I never wanted to do that.”

I don't answer immediately.

Because he's right.

Not when he shoved me.

Not when he yelled.

Not even when he told me to leave.

What frightened me was seeing how completely overwhelmed he'd become. Seeing someone who normally apologized for taking up space suddenly explode because he'd run out of room inside himself. I reach across the console and squeeze his knee.