Page 51 of If You Like It, I Love It

“Where did that new alpaca come from, Joni?” As soon as I’ve asked, a tan one runs up and bumps the brown one. They take off, playing chase. Oliver joins in, and I think maybe I already know what I’m seeing. “I mean, those two new alpacas.”

“That’s Oscar and Ophelia. They live here now. They had other names, but they didn’t respond to them, so I decided to give the whole herd names that start with O. I have a herd. It’s a small one, but it’s big enough.”

“So, you’re a package deal now, huh?”

“I always was.”

“I know. And it’ll take more than three alpacas to scare me off.”

“Oh, yeah? How many would be a deal killer?”

“I don’t know yet, but it’s not three.”

“Tell me how you really feel about my wallpaper now that it’s on the wall.”

“I feel like it’s still incredibly yellow, like it’s nothing I ever would’ve picked, but it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day because if you like it, I love it. I know you think I’m saying that to avoid the truth, but that is the truth. I don’t love it in the way that I’d love something I chose for myself, but I do love it because it makes you happy, and I love your happiness.”

“If you keep treating me like a princess, I might start acting like one.”

“Told you I’d unlock your inner princess someday. But if you’d rather, we can go to bed and I’ll mistreat you in all sorts of ways.”

“Let’s pick up where we left off last time, before we got interrupted by a screaming alpaca.”

“As I recall, I was treating you like a princess when that happened.”

“Start there, and we’ll see where it goes.”

“You got it, princess. But first, I’m going to open some windows so if you lose consciousness, I’ll know it was all me.”

26

Joni

His princess treatment lasts long enough for me to stop listening for alpaca screams, long enough to nearly lose consciousness for real when his self-proclaimed, earth-shaking orgasm delivery hits. The man knows his strengths, not that he has any weaknesses when it comes to sex.

“Are all twenty-eight-year-old men so skilled these days?”

“Nope. Just me. Not just at twenty-eight either. All other men are lacking those skills.”

“I was widowed before I met you, not dead.”

“You were also available, so how skilled could they have been?”

“You’re cute when you’re cocky. Speaking of cocks, if you switch places with me, I’ll return the favor.”

“You can do me the favor of staying right where you are, princess.” With his body hovering inches above mine, he adds, “As much as my cock loves your mouth, it’s too addicted to your sweet pussy to wait another minute for it.”

My whimper is short but audible as he pushes his full length inside me with one forceful stroke. That ephemeral sensation of the initial stretch breaks my composure every time. How can anything so fleeting feel so crucial to everything that follows?

“You know that princess as a nickname is not going to work for me, right?” I ask, rolling my hips to match his rhythm.

His warm breath ghosts over my ear, sending a shiver down the back of my neck. “You prefer I go back to beautiful, huh? I can do that. Unless pretty, pretty princess might work?”

I clench my core with every ounce of strength I possess, clamping my muscles tightly around his dick in mid-thrust, challenging its advance. He pushes through the added constriction. His strength overpowers mine, but his eyelids drop and his jaw locks telling me mine didn’t go unnoticed.

“If you’re trying to convince me you wouldn’t like it, you might want to try a new tactic because right now, it feels like being called pretty, pretty princess had a very favorable effect.”

“You know I did that on purpose, right?”